Thursday, January 10, 2008

When getting married becomes a competition

Going forward about my latest pressure, i think there is something silently competitive about getting married! (uuhm...i mean that statement!)

Well, it's not something that just falls on one like that; You actually do grow into it...we metamophosise into it (hope i'm correct). This is how it starts -

Fresh from school and enthusiastic about choosing a lucrative and enjoyable career path, so u get this nice and well paying job..and u spend most of ur time acquiring professional skills and experience on the job so you can move up the ladder. Meanwhile, all thru this period, a few of ur friends are getting married and u wonder why in christ's name are they rushing. You say 'why rush into a marriage u'll spend the rest of ur life in". And of course a lot of these young men and ladies are really young like early 20s, It actually would make better sense if they take some time out to pursue a career instead of jumpin to the alter.

Anyway, let's leave that at that. After a while You end up ur relationship because ur partner nags u too much..or u even meet a more promising dude/chic on the job front...And then, just like that u suddenly realise that ur skills are getting obsolete, u need to increase ur knowledge base and be able to compete globally. So, u take a 2 yr study leave abroad. It's fun,u r getting more refined and exposed. You know better and u've seen more than ur previous contemporaries.

24 months gone, u've finally bagged that hot certificate from the white man's land and landed one very high profile job in motherland. Now u have started to consider the idea of settling down only to discover that it seems all the marriageable men and women have been married away...and all around you are really vicious humans looking for whom to devour. Unfortunately, the pressure is mounting both within and without - 'ur biological clock is ticking away', relatives not helping matters and to now make matters worse, your most NFA (No Future Ambition) friend has sent u an invitation to his wedding. Now u are getting worked up; but u tell urself u won't give in to the pressure.

Luckily for u, there are a few of ur newly acquired friends who are in this league, so u are not alone....You don't quite see what is special in those that are married; ur life is fun and fulfilling just the way it is....But in ur heart, u are determined to say i do before any of them.

And then somewhere somehow one of ur unmarried friends starts to hint that he/she will have u be their best mate for their wedding.
....This is just the height of it. 'Have i been confined to a life of singleness and solitude'.. you ask urself.

The answer is this - It's not a time to give up; one of ur exes back in the days from 'modakeke' grammar school may just still be single and guess what? ur mama won't just sit down there and watch u age graceful into permanent singlehood. She's making huge plans to redeem u - Mama Iyabo's daughter is coming to Lagos from kafanchan.

Good luck!


Demminx said...

I feel you on this issue so much.There is no realy gain in getting married late and it's actually the advent of education and pursuit of academics that has generally expunged early marriages in the arena of career.
Whatever the case may be,my take would be that one should aim to combine both,i.e family life plans and career path plans.That way,we don't leave any to suffer

rethots said...

Beautifully written. A career's a great thing to pursue but, egventually, with all the accolades et al, an evening friend we would desire. (S)He who walk down the road (later years) with us. Rightly said, all hope's not lost.

You seem to have repented, so, a new post i expects every (week)day. Cheers.

funmi said...

i can so relate with this...
you write beautifully, dunno why i never found this site..

Ariiyike said...

@ Funmi
Thanks for the good remark. i tried to check out ur blog but it seems like u've got this privacy setting activated which doesn't allow the public to view.
Pls help!

I actually have repented..
i will do my best to ensure that i update regularly.
Thank y'all fpr stoppin bye.