Thursday, December 21, 2006

Ref: Previous Post

I got a comment on my last post from an anonymous (Didn't publish it though); One of the points of the comment is that it's indecent (or something Like that) and unclassy to use the word 'dump' for a guy and it's as disrespectful as the word 'bitch'.
Maybe this anonymous took my statement "Dump him like a piece of trash if he treats you like one" out of context. Perhaps, he (undoubtedly a guy) didn't pause to look at this statement from the 'If' clause and must have read the beginning clause in isolation. I kinda like the criticism outside of the direct attack nature of it; Though i sense that maybe the word 'dump' triggers some emotion in this person. But for crying out loud a great number of people have been dumped; even the best of men have been rejected for whatever reason -justifiable or otherwise.
Maybe the article is on the offensive to the male gender OR is it an ego thing? Well, can't tell yet, i've got just this one comment from just this one anonymous.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

To my Ladies

This is from my heart to all the ladies.
You are more valuable than you think or can imagine. Don't let the mistakes and experiences of your past determine your choices now and in the future. You are not who that guy says you are (good or bad), you are more than that. Carry yourself with pride and value. Please don't dwell on the past "stupidities" can rise above them.
You may think you've given too much to that relationship and you can't let go though he treats you a little more than trash. Talk to yourself, you are stronger than you think. You will thrive well without letting someone destroy the rose in you.
Think about it, you may not even end up with why let him rub you off your value. Forget about the sexual intimacies, You are still valuable in every way (don't be fooled). Don't let someone rub you off your value because he has seen you just the way you are. You can still treasure yourself.
Girl, Dump him like a piece of trash if he makes you feel like one. He doesn't deserve any better treatment. Move on, Do things that make you happy, use that energy for somethingmore productive. And for God sake, there is atleast a guy out there who will appreciate and nurture you.
Have a merry Xmas.

Grey Areas

Yesterday, getting home from the office was quite difficult, waited a while at the bus stop and finally had to go and join a friend at their office end of year party. While there, i made some obvious observations that informed my writing this article. Giving the details of the drama will definitely take a lot of space but i saw how certain factors can make one lose inhibitions and expose the frequently hidden side of ones personality.
In a man's strengths are also his weaknesses. Most times, people present to others the side of their personalty they want to be seen. Usually the noble side - selfless, loyal, responsible...everything positive and powerful (by what standards though?). But beneath that is a negative that is inversely proportional to that positive. When i see people, i most often focus on the bright side...because that's what they illuminate but somewhere along the line and in obscurity is some form of darkness. For example -
Someone who is always cheerful, pleasant and eager to help most often might be concealing a lot of hidden aggression, resentment, anger and this will often come out subtly in form of actions that are passively aggressive and sabotaging. In the same vein, an aggressive, dominant attitude is most often disguising a shy qand timid attitude. A strong preaching against sexual immoralities might be a pointer to an underlying sexual issues.
obvious case can be found on the campus fellowships - sisters who are advocates for no make-up, earings, trousers most times end up being the ones who wear them more when out of campus.
Situations reveal the darkside in us, especially money (sudden acquisition without character) can wreck the seemingly most dignified fellow. Body language and Alcohol can offer also a sneak preview to the covered unpleasants.

Monday, December 18, 2006

"Aristo" Syndrome

If you live in Nigeria or a citizen of this country then the heading will not sound strange to you.
I beleive the aristo word was coined from the word "aristocracy" meaning (in this context) - A group or class considered superior to others.
This phrase in our own language describes the relationship between young schoool girls and older men,usually married men.Reason i think is the beleif that they are richer than most single men and can afford to take care of their needs.Just recently, i found out another reason for the preference among young girls - which is that these married men treat them with respect and appreciation (Funny).This trend is on the rise and a lot of ladies now are begining to insist on older men; i got this impression from an article i read in this month's edition of True Love Magazine. I Could see the desire in the writer's points; She made it sound so attractive.
The arsto thingy is actually a symbiotic relationship (remember symbiosis: ur secondary schl biology) Let me brsh u up a li'l bit.
Symbiosis is a term that describes a stable and reciprocally profitable association between two different living organisms.Symbiosis can bring together two very different organisms:
1) two animals. For example, oxbirds ride the backs of African Cape buffalo eating the buffalo’s parasites: the bird gets a free meal; the buffalo gets rid of annoying insects) ;
2) a plant and a fungus. For example, a lichen is a convenient union between an alga and a fungus ;
3) an animal and a plant. For example, bees transport pollen from plant to plant when they search the plants for nectar: bees nourish themselves on the nectar; the plants reproduce after fertilisation by the pollen from other plants ;
4) a bacteria and an animal (for example, the bacteria present in the digestive tracts of herbivores) or a bacteria and a plant, among many other combinations.
And of course the 5th one which is relevant to this topic is The concept of symbiosis thatextends to the relationships between human (young girls and Older men).
I understand that ladies date older and often married men primarily because of Money and what it can get and they in turn give companionship (Sexual gratification and 'maybe' emotional comfort). Any single girl that is relatively comfortable (car, designer clothes,shoes & bags, jewelleries and all the works) is regarded as an "Aristo Chic"
One possible reason for the increase in the aristo trend can be traced to the so-called decline in the availability of single guys; they say the ratio of women to men is 1:4. Meaning that for every guy out there (Good, bad and ugly) there are at least 4 girls dying to have him (is this true?). This scarcity might have resulted into settling for the married ones, of course this depends on the motive.
People who do this, especially the ladies don't easily admit to it. Perhaps, because of it's mora implications.
I'm not writing for or against this trend, i'm not looking at it from the moral point of view; this is clearly a description of a trend in our society.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Why are you here?

just last week, my boss asked us this fundamental question- Why are we here?
Uuhm! and i really could not give a totally honest reply.., not like i couldn't give an immediate one. But i knew it was not a question to be answered in a hurry.
Why am i here? This question encapsulates a lot of other questions we ask ourselves in deep thought.
Affter Taking some time, i was able to come up with my own answer. It is ambigous because it's only a summary of why i am here. Perhaps i'll take them one by one in my subsequent postings.
I am here To Live, To Love and To Learn.
Why are you here?
Please share with me and others on the reason why you are here.

Monday, December 11, 2006

To-Do-List Variation

Does having a To-Do-List (in the office) really help us work faster, better and effectively?
Writing a TDL reminds me of the routinous nature of work; It has a robotic feel for me, like a program to control my activities; especially when you have to put a time frame to it.
When it comes to working (office)...,i think commitment is what determines your efficiency and effectiveness. Certainly not a monitoring tool like a To-Do-List.

Friday, December 08, 2006


Christmas is regarded as a high point in most countries of the world. Why? Does it have real meaning to us today?
Since about 400 AD, Christians have celebrated the birth of Jesus.
Today, the real meaning of Christmas is almost forgotten. It has become a non-religious holiday! More children believe in Father Christmas than in Jesus and Christmas Day has become a day of just eating and drinking alone.

The real Christmas story can be found in the bible in the Christian Bible. It is told in two different books: Matthew and Luke chapters 1 and 2. In case you don't have a bible, you can read online.

From November onwards, it is impossible to forget that Christmas is coming. Christmas decorations fill many shops, offices, homes and roads. Shopping centres become busier as December approaches and often stay open till late. It is a period where shopping is high. People buy more gifts, clothings. shoes, foods and all to celebrate the season. On every street corner, Christmas carol - the traditional Christmas Christian songs, and in some countries, groups of people will often sing carols on the streets to raise money for charity.

The bottomline is that we should not forget the reason for the season. Don't get all caught up in the celebration and forget your redeemer. If he was not born, perhaps there won't be xmas.

He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.
~Roy L. Smith

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Independent Will - what is the real you?

Independent will is the ability to keep the promises we make to ourselves and others. It is the ability to make decisions and choices and to act in accordance with those choices and decisions. The extent to which our independent will is developed is tested in our day-to-day lives in form of personal integrity. It is the ability to give meaning to our words and walk the walk. It is an integral part of how much value is placed on oneself.
Real discipline should come from within based on your own core values and also from where they are derived. To be an effective self manager, it is important to be able to surbordinate your feelings, impulses and moods to the values that you uphold.
I can imagine someone's asking "why the conflict...if i'm a follower of the independent will principle, then what is the justification for my previous post? That's the same question i'm asking myself.
Life is a learning process, I'm still working really hard on developing my own independent will.
The paradoxical nature just reflects the human nature - You know what is right and you just don't have enough integrity to do it. That's the story of a lot of us (don't even try to point fingers) Think about a lot of the actions you have taken and the decisions you have made.
What were the driving force behind those actions?
Perhaps you have your values written down , pasted visibly some where and even in your head, but do you really live by them?
How about the very little decisions we make on seemingly little and insignificant issues? What is our private life like?
....Because that's who we really are.

"Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street."
- Elbert Hubbard

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

What is my Problem?

'tis a good day.
I've got some professional Exams tomorrow and i can't feel any form of agitation and anticipation. One gets this feeling most times when you are confident about your readiness for a test; but the case here is the opposite. I'm not quite ready, juggling work and study amongst other things have been herculous for me. It's not because i can't find the time to do them all but it seems like i can't settle down to do all that i should be doing. I was thinking before now if it's a priority thing or just a lack of interest for the examination; well maybe there's some lack of interest but for crying out loud i made the move of going to pay for the exams at the 11th hour. because i knew too well that i will be ready for my 2 papers in 7weeks or maybe i overrated my ability? Though i do not think so. Initially i didn't know why i'm not so prepared for my test; But now i know:
Read carefully and pls feel free to criticise my excuse.
Reason is this - Accountancy is not what i want for myself, i am more interested in HR but i think that having an ACCA qualification will make me more competitive in my field of interest.
One day, after brainstorming for a while about how i wanted to add immediate value to myself, i decided to go ahead and pay for 2 papers in level 2. But now it's like what i call Strategic Plans on Top Shelf. Like what a lot of us do. we take time to think, brainstorm, analyse, criticise and finally come up with a strong strategic plan, full of motivation and at the end of the day, they become materials for top shelfs. That means we end up not acting on them; they become stacks (you don't want to throw them away immediately for guilt sake). Like "New Year Resolution". We design and develop them but no execution.
Anyway, That's exactly what happened to me regarding this examination. Nevertheless, i will finish it and get certified.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Everyday People -

I apologise for my absence. I still do not quite know what to write about but i'm just gonna start. It works better for me like that. I know one thing peculiar to everyone on this planet is that we meet and interact with people every now and then (Even if you are Incarcerated). Some of us have challeneges with managing the different kinds of people we meet every now and then; some look like they are heaven sent and some like thay are assigned from hell to make your life miserable- they just beat your imagination. I'm sure we've all fallen at one time into these 2 categories. You really want to know? Ask people around you- You just might not seem as nice as you think you are coming across.
Remember this story- "THE GOODY TWO SHOES"? (This phrase now refers to a self-righteous, smugly virtuous person).
It comes from the title of a rather twee and moralistic nursery tale called The History of Goody Two-Shoes, which was written by Oliver Goldsmith, and published in 1765. Goody owned only one shoe. When she was given a pair of them, she was so pleased that she showed them to everybody, saying “Two shoes”.

I am an advocate of "know a man before diagnosing his person".
People make erroneaous conclusions and form baseless reservations about others they barely know or even people we think we know well. We unconsciously make our experiences or do i say lack of one? a yardstick for measuring people's personalty. And then some of us even are quick to pass judgement and run other people down..Why do we 'bitch' about? Maybe it stems from a fundamental feeling of inadequacy that makes us feel that putting others down will make us feel better. The truth is - It is a reflection of what you really are (Think about it)
Human Beings are evolving through time? our perceptions, views and opinions are subject to change in the same way as we are subject to imperfections.
For the Self righteous, Smugly virteuos individual; Please take a minute to think before you run down other people around you. Remember the verse in the Good Book that says "Remove the log in your eyes before you see the specks in another's eyes"
Maybe that log just ain't making you see clearly.
Give a break!