Thursday, December 21, 2006
Maybe this anonymous took my statement "Dump him like a piece of trash if he treats you like one" out of context. Perhaps, he (undoubtedly a guy) didn't pause to look at this statement from the 'If' clause and must have read the beginning clause in isolation. I kinda like the criticism outside of the direct attack nature of it; Though i sense that maybe the word 'dump' triggers some emotion in this person. But for crying out loud a great number of people have been dumped; even the best of men have been rejected for whatever reason -justifiable or otherwise.
Maybe the article is on the offensive to the male gender OR is it an ego thing? Well, can't tell yet, i've got just this one comment from just this one anonymous.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
You are more valuable than you think or can imagine. Don't let the mistakes and experiences of your past determine your choices now and in the future. You are not who that guy says you are (good or bad), you are more than that. Carry yourself with pride and value. Please don't dwell on the past "stupidities"...you can rise above them.
You may think you've given too much to that relationship and you can't let go though he treats you a little more than trash. Talk to yourself, you are stronger than you think. You will thrive well without letting someone destroy the rose in you.
Think about it, you may not even end up with him..so why let him rub you off your value. Forget about the sexual intimacies, You are still valuable in every way (don't be fooled). Don't let someone rub you off your value because he has seen you just the way you are. You can still treasure yourself.
Girl, Dump him like a piece of trash if he makes you feel like one. He doesn't deserve any better treatment. Move on, Do things that make you happy, use that energy for somethingmore productive. And for God sake, there is atleast a guy out there who will appreciate and nurture you.
Have a merry Xmas.
In a man's strengths are also his weaknesses. Most times, people present to others the side of their personalty they want to be seen. Usually the noble side - selfless, loyal, responsible...everything positive and powerful (by what standards though?). But beneath that is a negative that is inversely proportional to that positive. When i see people, i most often focus on the bright side...because that's what they illuminate but somewhere along the line and in obscurity is some form of darkness. For example -
Someone who is always cheerful, pleasant and eager to help most often might be concealing a lot of hidden aggression, resentment, anger and this will often come out subtly in form of actions that are passively aggressive and sabotaging. In the same vein, an aggressive, dominant attitude is most often disguising a shy qand timid attitude. A strong preaching against sexual immoralities might be a pointer to an underlying sexual issues.
obvious case can be found on the campus fellowships - sisters who are advocates for no make-up, earings, trousers most times end up being the ones who wear them more when out of campus.
Situations reveal the darkside in us, especially money (sudden acquisition without character) can wreck the seemingly most dignified fellow. Body language and Alcohol can offer also a sneak preview to the covered unpleasants.
Monday, December 18, 2006
I beleive the aristo word was coined from the word "aristocracy" meaning (in this context) - A group or class considered superior to others.
This phrase in our own language describes the relationship between young schoool girls and older men,usually married men.Reason i think is the beleif that they are richer than most single men and can afford to take care of their needs.Just recently, i found out another reason for the preference among young girls - which is that these married men treat them with respect and appreciation (Funny).This trend is on the rise and a lot of ladies now are begining to insist on older men; i got this impression from an article i read in this month's edition of True Love Magazine. I Could see the desire in the writer's points; She made it sound so attractive.
The arsto thingy is actually a symbiotic relationship (remember symbiosis: ur secondary schl biology) Let me brsh u up a li'l bit.
Symbiosis is a term that describes a stable and reciprocally profitable association between two different living organisms.Symbiosis can bring together two very different organisms:
1) two animals. For example, oxbirds ride the backs of African Cape buffalo eating the buffalo’s parasites: the bird gets a free meal; the buffalo gets rid of annoying insects) ;
2) a plant and a fungus. For example, a lichen is a convenient union between an alga and a fungus ;
3) an animal and a plant. For example, bees transport pollen from plant to plant when they search the plants for nectar: bees nourish themselves on the nectar; the plants reproduce after fertilisation by the pollen from other plants ;
4) a bacteria and an animal (for example, the bacteria present in the digestive tracts of herbivores) or a bacteria and a plant, among many other combinations.
And of course the 5th one which is relevant to this topic is The concept of symbiosis thatextends to the relationships between human (young girls and Older men).
I understand that ladies date older and often married men primarily because of Money and what it can get and they in turn give companionship (Sexual gratification and 'maybe' emotional comfort). Any single girl that is relatively comfortable (car, designer clothes,shoes & bags, jewelleries and all the works) is regarded as an "Aristo Chic"
One possible reason for the increase in the aristo trend can be traced to the so-called decline in the availability of single guys; they say the ratio of women to men is 1:4. Meaning that for every guy out there (Good, bad and ugly) there are at least 4 girls dying to have him (is this true?). This scarcity might have resulted into settling for the married ones, of course this depends on the motive.
People who do this, especially the ladies don't easily admit to it. Perhaps, because of it's mora implications.
I'm not writing for or against this trend, i'm not looking at it from the moral point of view; this is clearly a description of a trend in our society.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Uuhm! and i really could not give a totally honest reply.., not like i couldn't give an immediate one. But i knew it was not a question to be answered in a hurry.
Why am i here? This question encapsulates a lot of other questions we ask ourselves in deep thought.
Affter Taking some time, i was able to come up with my own answer. It is ambigous because it's only a summary of why i am here. Perhaps i'll take them one by one in my subsequent postings.
I am here To Live, To Love and To Learn.
Why are you here?
Please share with me and others on the reason why you are here.
Monday, December 11, 2006
Writing a TDL reminds me of the routinous nature of work; It has a robotic feel for me, like a program to control my activities; especially when you have to put a time frame to it.
When it comes to working (office)...,i think commitment is what determines your efficiency and effectiveness. Certainly not a monitoring tool like a To-Do-List.
Friday, December 08, 2006
Christmas is regarded as a high point in most countries of the world. Why? Does it have real meaning to us today?
Since about 400 AD, Christians have celebrated the birth of Jesus.
Today, the real meaning of Christmas is almost forgotten. It has become a non-religious holiday! More children believe in Father Christmas than in Jesus and Christmas Day has become a day of just eating and drinking alone.
The real Christmas story can be found in the bible in the Christian Bible. It is told in two different books: Matthew and Luke chapters 1 and 2. In case you don't have a bible, you can read online.
From November onwards, it is impossible to forget that Christmas is coming. Christmas decorations fill many shops, offices, homes and roads. Shopping centres become busier as December approaches and often stay open till late. It is a period where shopping is high. People buy more gifts, clothings. shoes, foods and all to celebrate the season. On every street corner, Christmas carol - the traditional Christmas Christian songs, and in some countries, groups of people will often sing carols on the streets to raise money for charity.
The bottomline is that we should not forget the reason for the season. Don't get all caught up in the celebration and forget your redeemer. If he was not born, perhaps there won't be xmas.
| He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree. |
~Roy L. Smith
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Real discipline should come from within based on your own core values and also from where they are derived. To be an effective self manager, it is important to be able to surbordinate your feelings, impulses and moods to the values that you uphold.
I can imagine someone's asking "why the conflict...if i'm a follower of the independent will principle, then what is the justification for my previous post? That's the same question i'm asking myself.
Life is a learning process, I'm still working really hard on developing my own independent will.
The paradoxical nature just reflects the human nature - You know what is right and you just don't have enough integrity to do it. That's the story of a lot of us (don't even try to point fingers) Think about a lot of the actions you have taken and the decisions you have made.
What were the driving force behind those actions?
Perhaps you have your values written down , pasted visibly some where and even in your head, but do you really live by them?
How about the very little decisions we make on seemingly little and insignificant issues? What is our private life like?
....Because that's who we really are.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
I've got some professional Exams tomorrow and i can't feel any form of agitation and anticipation. One gets this feeling most times when you are confident about your readiness for a test; but the case here is the opposite. I'm not quite ready, juggling work and study amongst other things have been herculous for me. It's not because i can't find the time to do them all but it seems like i can't settle down to do all that i should be doing. I was thinking before now if it's a priority thing or just a lack of interest for the examination; well maybe there's some lack of interest but for crying out loud i made the move of going to pay for the exams at the 11th hour. because i knew too well that i will be ready for my 2 papers in 7weeks or maybe i overrated my ability? Though i do not think so. Initially i didn't know why i'm not so prepared for my test; But now i know:
Read carefully and pls feel free to criticise my excuse.
Reason is this - Accountancy is not what i want for myself, i am more interested in HR but i think that having an ACCA qualification will make me more competitive in my field of interest.
One day, after brainstorming for a while about how i wanted to add immediate value to myself, i decided to go ahead and pay for 2 papers in level 2. But now it's like what i call Strategic Plans on Top Shelf. Like what a lot of us do. we take time to think, brainstorm, analyse, criticise and finally come up with a strong strategic plan, full of motivation and at the end of the day, they become materials for top shelfs. That means we end up not acting on them; they become stacks (you don't want to throw them away immediately for guilt sake). Like "New Year Resolution". We design and develop them but no execution.
Anyway, That's exactly what happened to me regarding this examination. Nevertheless, i will finish it and get certified.
Monday, December 04, 2006
Remember this story- "THE GOODY TWO SHOES"? (This phrase now refers to a self-righteous, smugly virtuous person).
It comes from the title of a rather twee and moralistic nursery tale called The History of Goody Two-Shoes, which was written by Oliver Goldsmith, and published in 1765. Goody owned only one shoe. When she was given a pair of them, she was so pleased that she showed them to everybody, saying “Two shoes”.
I am an advocate of "know a man before diagnosing his person".
People make erroneaous conclusions and form baseless reservations about others they barely know or even people we think we know well. We unconsciously make our experiences or do i say lack of one? a yardstick for measuring people's personalty. And then some of us even are quick to pass judgement and run other people down..Why do we 'bitch' about? Maybe it stems from a fundamental feeling of inadequacy that makes us feel that putting others down will make us feel better. The truth is - It is a reflection of what you really are (Think about it)
Human Beings are evolving through time? our perceptions, views and opinions are subject to change in the same way as we are subject to imperfections.
For the Self righteous, Smugly virteuos individual; Please take a minute to think before you run down other people around you. Remember the verse in the Good Book that says "Remove the log in your eyes before you see the specks in another's eyes"
Maybe that log just ain't making you see clearly.
Give a break!
Friday, November 03, 2006
A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, he found his three-year-old son happily hammering dents into the shiny truck surface. Without giving it a thought, he hammered the little boy's hand.
When the boy woke up from surgery, and saw his bandaged stubs,
he innocently said - "Daddy, I’m sorry about your truck".
Then he asked- “but when are my fingers going to grow back?"
The father went home and committed Suicide.
This short true story further illustrates the 90/10 principle (Read previous article). You might be saying the story sounds a little too extreme; But the truth is not being able to take control of your reaction can have a far more reaching fatal effect than this.
At times we say some actions are reflex or perhaps, there's no time for thinking before reacting. The truth is, you can consciously decide what your reaction will be. You can master the art such that you become conditioned to what i'll call a positive reaction (irrespective of the situation).
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Discover the 90/10 Principle.
It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations).
What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is
decided by how you react.
What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us.
We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which
throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic.
We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the
How? ……….By your reaction.
You cannot control a red light. but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool
you; YOU can control how you react.
Let's use an example.
You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee
onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened.
What happens next will be determined by how you react.
You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in
tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup
too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs
and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy
crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus.
Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your
daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph
After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your
daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20
minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it
continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home.
When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse
Why? …. Because of how you reacted in the morning.
Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
The answer is “D".
You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5
seconds is what caused your bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened.
Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "Its ok
honey, you just need to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush
upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time
to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and
waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss
comments on how good the day you are having.
Notice the difference?
Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.
Because of how you REACTED.
You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was
determined by your reaction.
Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle. If someone says something
negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You
don't have to let the negative comment affect you!
React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a
friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.
How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound
on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off) Do you
curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them?
WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your
Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.
You are told you lost your job.
Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time
into finding another job.
The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take outpour
frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on.
Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It
will just make things worse.
Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results.
You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and
apply this principle.
Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and
heartache. We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle.
It CAN change your life!!!
Monday, October 16, 2006
I decided to continue on HR as i started last week. I considered posting something on a lighter note but i think that concluding subsequently will be better for easy comprehension.
In case you have not read the previous article, please do, as this is a continuation.
Capacity for Change:
HR puts in place a system that can manage change and transformation effectively. Transformation refers to a fundamental cultural change within an organization.
Change refers to the aboility to improve the design and implementation of initiatives within the firm and also to reduce the time cycle inherent in organizational activitites.
HR professionals are cultural guardians and catalysts and also help to identify processes for change.
HR does this by helping employees let go old and adapt to new cultures and helps the organization to identify the processes that can manage change.
HR professionals are change agents. They help make change happen, understand the critical processes for change, build commitment to those processes and ensure that change occurs as planned.
This role is more than managing the day-to-day problems, concerns and needs of employees. It is imporatnt to note that the intellectual capital (manpower) is a critical source of a firms value i.e the people make up the firm.
HR performs the role of aggressively and actively developing the intellectual capital. This it does by helping employees to contribute through their competence to do good work and their commitment to working diligently. HR ensures that the employee contributions are linked to business success.
With active HR as employee champions that identifies and meets the needs of the employee; overall employee contribution will go up naturally.
HR personally spends time with the employees and train and encourage line managers to do the same.
All Possible HR roles are summarised under the above headings.
HR refers to HR professionals and Departments.
Hope you had a wonderful weekend. I had a good one.
Friday, October 13, 2006
I'll like to share a little from the book for the benefit of those who know nothing about the peofession, those who have a misconception about it.
HR has a multiple role model ranging from Operational (day-to-day) to strategic (long term), and the focus ranges from people to processes.
These roles are
1. Strategy execution
2. Administrative Efficiency
3. Capacity for change
4. Employee contribution.
These roles are can be termed deliverables of HR practices. That is, they are the outcomes of HR activities.
The strategic HR role focuses on aligning HR practices and strategy with the business practices and strategy in order to create a system that can achieve the organizational objectives. Here HR professionals increase the capacity of an organization to execute its strategies; They participate in the process of defining business strategies by asking questions that move strategy to action and by designing HR practices that are in allighment with the business strategy.
In any organization, strategies exist either explicitly or implicitly,HR professionals should be able to identify the practices that can make the strategy happen. The primary role here is to translate business strategies into HR practices.
HR is the caretaker of the corporate infrastructure. HR ensures that efficient HR processes for Staffing, training, appraising, rewarding are designed and delivered.
HR professionals accomplish administrative efficiency in 2 ways:
a.Ensure efficiency in the HR processes
b.Hiring, Training and rewarding Managers who increase productivity and reduce waste.
By delivering administrative efficiency, HR plays the role of an administrative expert, mastering and pioneering re engineering refforts that foster HR and business processes by being able to cut out unnecessary costs, improve efficiency, and constatntly find ways to do things better.
Simply put, Administrative efficiency is the ability to accomplish more with less.
There is a general misconception that HR is a social/corporate therapy for employees, It is designed to provide oractices that amke employees more competeitive. Not anyone, even if you are a people person can do HR. HR is based on proven theories, principles, research and it is evolutionary in nature.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Life is not earned, neither is it inherited. It is a temporary gift. Don't take it for granted, live it meaningfully. Every moment of every minute counts. Your action in a moment can affect a lifetime. Don't waste precious time, it is invaluable because it cannot be replaced.
Enjoy life because it's short, do things that make you happy and others too.
Your experiences to a large extent define your perspective to life; so see the humor side of life.
Life is precious and delicate; Handle with care.
Picture origin: http://www.istockphoto.com/imageindex/693/5/693561/cradle.html
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Thinking back, i remember i always wanted or felt i could do a lot of things that are meaningful and productive with my life. Thought having it altogether in a multi-faceted world was a piece of cake.
But lately, i noticed that i had made an unconscious choice of letting my life revolve around my work alone (which is pathetic). And this is not only peculiar to me but i think to a lot of other people who have to wake up early in the morning and go to an office to come back late at night to just end up sleeping. It sounds like a program or a routine, which we all have automatically been accustomed to.
This is not necessarily true with everybody, some people have mastered the art of not doing more things at a limited time but doing those things that matter within the allocated time.
But for those of us that are having a form of challenge here, i want to say that it is possible. Our lives doesn't have to be so streamlined and limited to our work life. How about other little things that add value? Take a second to think about this- How many times in the last 5 days have you made a conscious effort to give of yourself to someone else not with an underlying motive of getting something in return? Giving of yourself could be your time, money, affection - (your valuable resources). Or even taken time out to consider a bigger picture of how the world can be a better place for people around you and even the world at large?
One can be humanitarian in nature and yet be living a selfish life. You feel some form of sympathy for people that are less fortunate but rarely do anything to make them a little less fortunate. Think about it you have been living for yourself alone and even at that the vaccum in your life is widenning the more.
I can directly relate to this because i have been living thesame way too. Though i know i can do better, i have more than enough time to do those things that really matter, make decisions and take actions that have the potentials to live after me; but i've been engrossed in my almost valueless (in actual sense) daily routine. After a long thought which came about from a strong feeling of unease, i decided to consciously live beyond my daily life. I think about means and avenues where i can develop myself not solely for the purpose living more comfortably but largely for the benefit of mankind.
Bottomline is, we all that are caught up in our daily monotonous life can start to make a conscious effort to step out of that self imposed limitation and do those things we would love to do but ordinarily could not create time for.
Have a changed perspective, look at the big picture, don't limit your choices and decisions with you in mind alone. Think about how you want to be remembered after you have spent your time.
Live for a purpose that is beyond you.
Reference Image: International Consortium for Higher Education, Civic Responsibility and Democracy.