Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Loosing Gracefully

While growing up, we were taught a lot by our teachers, parents, friends and other family members but somehow, the art of loosing gracefully was left out. Maybe because our teachers also didn't know how to loose and let go gracefully.

I know being at the loosing end is painful and difficult especially in a society where somehow subconsciously we have imbibed the "do or die" attitude. (I am not calling this attitude bad).

We hold on to stuff that we should let go because of the fear of the unknown. we wonder how life will be without the baggage. We just find it almost impossible to make that choice of letting go.

There are at times when it's so crystal clear that your partner wants out and there's no reversing it; you and i know when it's really over but we just won’t let go.

The loss of a relationship can be incredibly hard - you can feel so much pain. There's not only the grief from losing someone important in your life, but the pain of seeing your hopes and dreams of a future life together disappear as well. Sometimes this is the hardest part - having to totally readjust your view of how you saw your life unfolding in the next 5 to 10 years. Suddenly, you can't see into the future and it's scary.

The fear of starting over, Difficulty in trusting again, one might even develop an identity crisis.
All these fears keep us from bowing out of a lost battle; we still want to hang in there and hope something can be done while enduring undignifying heart wrenching hurts and pains. This form of ‘needy and clingy’ attitude but sometimes, we just think it's a hopeless situation.

Sometimes letting go just happens after you've let yourself grieve and rage and whatever else you need to do. Other times, people have to deliberately and consciously focus on letting go. It is tempting to hold on, and scary to let go. Saying to yourself that you are letting go of your ex-partner can be helpful. Interrupting yourself when you get stuck thinking or talking about her/him and redirecting your focus onto something else is all part of letting go.

Filling your life with activities that you enjoy - creative, playful, sociable, soulful activities - are all ways to nurture yourself back to health.

One can loose with respect, dignity and self esteem intact- that is loosing gracefully. Accept it's over and it's not within your control and move on. Don't sit down there whining and being a pest. Move on!

Being able to loose gracefully touches all areas of existence; cus faceit, life is a battle and winning is not guaranteed all the time.

You don't have to be the one to have the last say in an argument, you don't always have to justify your actions. Learn to accept your faults and mistakes and look for ways to make up for them.

It's difficult to do; but we'll be stronger and better for it.


No comments: