..but my inconsistency always seem to get the part of me. Especially when i'm having a ball, i almost always forget about most other things, coupled with the fact that there's more than one person to think about now, as a matter of fact i can say 7 more to think about...How does one even start to juggle that? There is my babies to think about and all relevant others. (Sighs)... Anyway.. lots and lots of excuses.
I am more result oriented and productive when i'm in a melancholic state... i get the drive and inspiration to make a better me in some form of depression...,yay! weird...i know. It's unbeleivable how much i realise what potential is in me and figure out how to harnes them. My creativity is also at its highest then.
A lot has changed in my life in the past few months. I've had to change from that care-free, easy go-lucky girl that i was to a woman who has to think and care abt so much and nothing. and suddenly being exposed the spotlight of conformity to the numerous powers that be; and constant evaluation and re-evaluation.
I am a woman now! and i don't want to be a bee as is 2nd nature to womanhood. I don't always want to be doing something, i don't want to be picking and cleaning and criticising and instructing and carrrying and organising and all the activities. I don't want to loose myself in the expectation of being a woman.
I can't find my passion and creativeness; my multifacetedness (whatever!). I am loosing my restlessness...
I want it now and i want it then.