Thursday, April 03, 2008

In and Thru my mind

My alter ego is strong, compulsive and slightly askew.
It does get the better part of me a lot of times, especially on an emotional plain. I also dont like to stop it most of those times, like it's got a mind of it's own and i want to explore.
And there are times where my thoughts just go catawampus, contorted and screwy... if u know what i mean.

And you know what? I crossed the lawn yesterday on Ajose yesterday... so much for new year dos and donts. I am sorry i did, and i will not do it again. It's no such a big deal; but it's unfair to my independent will if i can't keep a promise as little as that.
And you know why i have to keep it? because it is inconsequential to nothing and it's not a matter of emotion, no driving force... So i will keep it because it's almost mundane.

The past few weeks have been hilly and contourish,.. and im still walkin on the hills and valleys.
..Even if i walk thru the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil for God is with me.

And these contours are not valleys of the shadow of death... so i don't dare to fear.

Strength is my weakness... one without the other doesn't just make sense. You give me strength and u make my knees wobble, mixed feelings of fear and uncertainty,.... and the cravings and desires. I love you and i'm overbearing.

Went cold turkey on blogville for a while, blamed it to a change of environment... and now another change would not even restore it. Those are one of my numerous excuses for several of my inactions.

Have i become so numb... am i loosing my soul? i am asking me because just last night, i was walkin thru from my office to chocolat royale and i saw these 2 thieves that had been mobbed and were facing the likelihood of jungle justice...
and for several moments i did not flinch at the thought of these guys being burnt to death. I was indifferent... and u know wat that truly means.
Indifference to either a good or a bad act indicates a tilt torward the negative choice. My mind started to wonder about the future evil these 2 guys will perpetrate if given a chance.

My only regrets are for the things i did not do.. and not for those i did.


30+ said...

"Indifference towards either good or bad indicates a tilt toward negative choice" - Hmmn food for thought


"Indifference to either a good or a bad act indicates a tilt torward the negative choice."

I have never looked at it that way before. Quite insightful. May I borrow this? I'll make sure you are credited, of course....

Jarrai said...

Nicely written, had to read it a few times though to get the gist!!!

Life can hurl things at you sometimes...its a game it plays us.

Nice blog