" virtue is on the decline and heading towards extinction."
This is a statement from a young and upwardly mobile gentleman that i know.
And this really got me thinking...
What is virtue? Is it a relative term? And is it really on the decline?
This statement automatically spurned me into self examination and i immediately began to feel uneasy and the resultant sub-conscious attitude was self-defense. Though i still went down the path of self analysis, compared the good-old -days with high moral standards and the Sweet-mordern-day with decaying moral standards and i thought to myself that virtue would definitely have a different meaning from those 'good-old-days' considering what is obtainable now. And so, if virtue is NOT what i think it is...then maybe i ain't doing too bad.
Since i was uncertain about the meaning of that word "Virtue", i decided to do my research. The first thing that came to mind is the bible verse that talks about the virtuous woman - then i began to wonder, is virtue a feminine quality? Is it more vital for a woman than for a man?
Virtue is from a latin word called Virtus and based on it's origin, it signifies manliness or courage. Virtue as it is now known depicts moral excellence of a person. It is a trait valued as being good. The opposite of which is 'vice'.
BroadESTly speaking, virtue means the excellence of perfection of a thing, (just imagine those 2 words side by side - excellence and perfection, they make virtue sound almost unattainable). And in its strictest meaning, however, as we all understand it, virtue is good habit, essentially moral excellence, chastity.
Going further, the meaning and essence of virtue will be weakly denoted if reference is not made to the bible verse -Proverbs 31:10. That scripture is pregnant with meaning, that's a whole text book in less than 10 lines.
Virtue is more than high moral standards. It is resourcefulness, proactiveness, creativity, aesthetics, doggedness, strenght, courage...just name it. Virtue is all.
And if the good book particularly associates it with women, then maybe it is more valuable to us.
The standard for right and wrong is not a cultural thing, therefore it is not location specific. What is right is predominantly right and so is what is wrong, this probably informed the saying "call a spade a spade". Infidelity, wastefulness are as bad in Africa as they are in Asia or any other part of the world. And if it's so, i can then conclude that Virtue is not a relative term.
About it being on the decline? I need to ask the menfolk.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Mosi-oa-tunya
I have been out for too long, but i must say that it's good to be back. I had been out for almost half year, not like there was nothing to write about but i needed to find passion again. 
My 'break' was eventful; a whole lot to blog about whenever i run out of ideas. The whole period was like a begining and a getting used to a new phase in my life - new work environment, job description, challenges and all. Anyway, i met a 'wonderful' set of people from Zimbabwe as part of the then new work environment; and now, Zimbabwe has joined my list of
Antelopes can be seen in these areas and troops of nonchalant baboons patrol the walkways. Airborne droplets of fine mist creates an almost a constant rainbow, which can even be seen by the light of the moon.The Victoria Falls are shared by both Zambia and Zimbabwe and is territorially divided by Cecil Rhodes' famous bridge - which he never lived to see.
As well as a spectacular view down into the gorge, this bridge has more recently become famous for its adrenaline-pumping bungy jump with a fall of 364 feet (111 meters)! The other most popular adventure pursuit here is white-water rafting on the Zambezi.
The park contains some big game such as elephants, buffalo, lions, giraffe and antelopes like kudu and waterbuck, along with plenty of hippos and crocs.
Riverine bird life is plentiful with egrets, herons, cormorants, fish eagles and kingfishers.The Zambezi is renowned for its tigerfish, tilapia and giant vundu (catfish) over 6 ft long.
It's a nice thing that blogging is gaining recognition in Nigeria to the extent that a well known mag had a whole section on a number of female bloggers in Nigeria. I almost feel like i've missed out o a whole lot.
My 'break' was eventful; a whole lot to blog about whenever i run out of ideas. The whole period was like a begining and a getting used to a new phase in my life - new work environment, job description, challenges and all. Anyway, i met a 'wonderful' set of people from Zimbabwe as part of the then new work environment; and now, Zimbabwe has joined my list of must-visit countries. And one Particularly fascinating thing is
the great Victoria falls or Mosi-oa-Tunya (The smoke that thunders).
Victoria falls are by some measures, the largest waterfall in the world, and can also be said to be among the most unusual in form, and having arguably the most diverse and easily-seen wildlife of any major waterfall site. Some people say that this Victoria falls have an hallucinating effect on tourists. One tend to see other things (imaginary) that ordinarily don't exist there. This may be due to its unusual form which enables virtually the whole width of the falls to be viewed face-on, at the same level as the top, from a close range.
the great Victoria falls or Mosi-oa-Tunya (The smoke that thunders).Victoria falls are by some measures, the largest waterfall in the world, and can also be said to be among the most unusual in form, and having arguably the most diverse and easily-seen wildlife of any major waterfall site. Some people say that this Victoria falls have an hallucinating effect on tourists. One tend to see other things (imaginary) that ordinarily don't exist there. This may be due to its unusual form which enables virtually the whole width of the falls to be viewed face-on, at the same level as the top, from a close range.
Many of Africa's animals and birds can be seen in the immediate vicinity of Victoria Falls, and the continent's range of river fish is also well represented, enabling wildlife viewing and sport fishing to be combined with sightseeing. The falls are shared between Zam
bia and Zimbabwe, and each country has a national park to protect them and a town serving as a tourism centre: Mosi-oa-Tunya National Park and Livingstone in Zambia, and Victoria Falls National Park and the town of Victoria Falls in Zimbabwe.
bia and Zimbabwe, and each country has a national park to protect them and a town serving as a tourism centre: Mosi-oa-Tunya National Park and Livingstone in Zambia, and Victoria Falls National Park and the town of Victoria Falls in Zimbabwe.Antelopes can be seen in these areas and troops of nonchalant baboons patrol the walkways. Airborne droplets of fine mist creates an almost a constant rainbow, which can even be seen by the light of the moon.The Victoria Falls are shared by both Zambia and Zimbabwe and is territorially divided by Cecil Rhodes' famous bridge - which he never lived to see.
As well as a spectacular view down into the gorge, this bridge has more recently become famous for its adrenaline-pumping bungy jump with a fall of 364 feet (111 meters)! The other most popular adventure pursuit here is white-water rafting on the Zambezi.
The park contains some big game such as elephants, buffalo, lions, giraffe and antelopes like kudu and waterbuck, along with plenty of hippos and crocs.
Riverine bird life is plentiful with egrets, herons, cormorants, fish eagles and kingfishers.The Zambezi is renowned for its tigerfish, tilapia and giant vundu (catfish) over 6 ft long.
It is the widest curtain of falling water in the world, and during the warm wet months of February to April, it cascades at over thirty times its dry season flow. The resulting spray can be seen from 20 miles (32kms) away and explains the local African name for the falls - Mosi-oa-tunya ‘Smoke that Thunders’
There are few appropriate superlatives that have not already been applied to this magnificent natural wonder of the world; in many ways it defies description.
I am marvelled at this wonderful work of creation.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Untitled
I don't know what to write about and that's why this blog has not been updated. It almost looks like i am out of ideas; every attempt to ponder upon a topic or to see through instances and happenings around me is stopped short by a block;. Almost like i can't think straight and no reserve to pull from.
I try to avoid writing wholly on my personal issues; but i guess i am gonna have to go in that direction. Blogging about personal stuff makes me feel like i am exposing myself to global scrutiny and criticism. Especially when there might be someone who will be able to decode exactly what you are talking abt even to the real characters involved.But really i think i should divulge some stuff.
I am experiencing a stablility issue or let me say my present wavery state (in my thinking) and somehow that might have reflected in my recent previous write-ups. I beleive that alot if not all challenges or issues that i experience stems from a spiritual hitch. Right now, i'm not getting spooky. I mean my relationship- with my creator - God almighty and not some diabolic stuff.
Right now, i feel like I am on earth and God is in Jupiter; i just can't connect. And this is translating into my conscious experience.
I feel some form of no essence to my actiivities. I just don't get it; I don't derive satisfaction from anything really almost like i live each day as it comes without expectation.
The funny thing is i know what i need to do to get back on track but somehow i am confused and don't trust my ability to do what i need to do to get thru this.
This is obviously not a starting point. It just may be.
I try to avoid writing wholly on my personal issues; but i guess i am gonna have to go in that direction. Blogging about personal stuff makes me feel like i am exposing myself to global scrutiny and criticism. Especially when there might be someone who will be able to decode exactly what you are talking abt even to the real characters involved.But really i think i should divulge some stuff.
I am experiencing a stablility issue or let me say my present wavery state (in my thinking) and somehow that might have reflected in my recent previous write-ups. I beleive that alot if not all challenges or issues that i experience stems from a spiritual hitch. Right now, i'm not getting spooky. I mean my relationship- with my creator - God almighty and not some diabolic stuff.
Right now, i feel like I am on earth and God is in Jupiter; i just can't connect. And this is translating into my conscious experience.
I feel some form of no essence to my actiivities. I just don't get it; I don't derive satisfaction from anything really almost like i live each day as it comes without expectation.
The funny thing is i know what i need to do to get back on track but somehow i am confused and don't trust my ability to do what i need to do to get thru this.
This is obviously not a starting point. It just may be.
Friday, January 26, 2007
"Work and Money"
"Work for the money, the love will come after". This is a statement in a book on career management. It is not a general fundamental truth, though it is extensively true. People often work, want to work, change jobs basically for the financial reward. A lot is written about this in the "unemployment and unskilled labour" post.
However, people take up jobs for several reasons depending on the pyramid/hierachy of needs (Abraham Maslow) - Physiological, Safety, Sense of belonging, esteem, Self actualization. The lowest of the need is physiological, that is the basic need of food, air,shelter and clothing. And the highest is Self actualization.Looking at it from this angle, one can say that human needs vary based on social status. Someone can take up a job in order to have a sense of purpose and a sense of integration (self actualization). One will think that the basic physiological needs would have been satisfied before one can desire self actualization (i mean, why would someone want to strive to be the best he can without 1st being able to satisfy his lowest needs?). Perhaps, that is possible if the burden of meeting the primary needs is not directly borne by that individual.
People can also take up jobs to have a sense of belonging, feel a sense of identity and boost their morale. More often than not, a person without a job can develop an esteem problem regardless of status.
One cannot ignore the fact that money can determine what job we choose or even override the intent to do a job we really desire. Earlier today, a friend shared his experience (career wise) with me. He wanted a core IT job, but he was offered something in IT but not his actual desire. Anyway, it was difficuilt for him to reject the job because the pay was higher than he expected to earn even with his desired job. So he took up the job with the hope of resigning after a few months. Guess what? His salary was doubled after about 4 months and it became even harder and almost impossible to leave the job. Months ran into years and he still could not resign. Fortunately though, after a few years he started to do the type of IT job he wanted. He is beginning to get fulfilled on his job and the financial reward is not bad either.
Does that mean it is possible for one to start out on the tangent and still be able to get back in line? Well yeah, i guess. But one fact still remains which is - basic needs have got to be satisfied before other abstract needs can be satisfied. However, if one can, it's better to start up with what you really want and continue in it even if the pay is meagre(which is temporal). It's a learning process.
However, people take up jobs for several reasons depending on the pyramid/hierachy of needs (Abraham Maslow) - Physiological, Safety, Sense of belonging, esteem, Self actualization. The lowest of the need is physiological, that is the basic need of food, air,shelter and clothing. And the highest is Self actualization.Looking at it from this angle, one can say that human needs vary based on social status. Someone can take up a job in order to have a sense of purpose and a sense of integration (self actualization). One will think that the basic physiological needs would have been satisfied before one can desire self actualization (i mean, why would someone want to strive to be the best he can without 1st being able to satisfy his lowest needs?). Perhaps, that is possible if the burden of meeting the primary needs is not directly borne by that individual.
People can also take up jobs to have a sense of belonging, feel a sense of identity and boost their morale. More often than not, a person without a job can develop an esteem problem regardless of status.
One cannot ignore the fact that money can determine what job we choose or even override the intent to do a job we really desire. Earlier today, a friend shared his experience (career wise) with me. He wanted a core IT job, but he was offered something in IT but not his actual desire. Anyway, it was difficuilt for him to reject the job because the pay was higher than he expected to earn even with his desired job. So he took up the job with the hope of resigning after a few months. Guess what? His salary was doubled after about 4 months and it became even harder and almost impossible to leave the job. Months ran into years and he still could not resign. Fortunately though, after a few years he started to do the type of IT job he wanted. He is beginning to get fulfilled on his job and the financial reward is not bad either.
Does that mean it is possible for one to start out on the tangent and still be able to get back in line? Well yeah, i guess. But one fact still remains which is - basic needs have got to be satisfied before other abstract needs can be satisfied. However, if one can, it's better to start up with what you really want and continue in it even if the pay is meagre(which is temporal). It's a learning process.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder
Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” – This means beauty is how you see it. That is, there are varying standards for beauty and what is acceptable to one person as being beautiful might be unacceptable to another. We’ve seen enough of that in the previous post.
Beauty being in the eye of the beholder is a matter of differences in taste. I will define it as an attempt to dismiss the disagreement in the differences in our tastes and preferences
On the other hand, looking at it critically, Is there really no standard for beauty and ugliness? Do we not want others to be agreeable of our judgment of beauty?
.
Each individual has got peculiar preferences and tastes but they are based upon one ideal and are only modifications of this. This means that there is a standard from which everyone generates their standards from.
The judgment for beauty is clearly an emotional issue and that is why the argument usually ends up with the maxim – “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. If beauty is as subjective as we all perceive it to be, then the question is – Is there anything as beauty and if there is, what is beauty?
Can one call something beautiful, if he pleases merely himself alone?
Many things may have charm, attraction and agreeableness to a person, but should it be called beautiful if it pleases him alone? If it’s called beautiful, then one must expect the same satisfaction from others.
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” – This means beauty is how you see it. That is, there are varying standards for beauty and what is acceptable to one person as being beautiful might be unacceptable to another. We’ve seen enough of that in the previous post.
Beauty being in the eye of the beholder is a matter of differences in taste. I will define it as an attempt to dismiss the disagreement in the differences in our tastes and preferences
On the other hand, looking at it critically, Is there really no standard for beauty and ugliness? Do we not want others to be agreeable of our judgment of beauty?
.
Each individual has got peculiar preferences and tastes but they are based upon one ideal and are only modifications of this. This means that there is a standard from which everyone generates their standards from.
The judgment for beauty is clearly an emotional issue and that is why the argument usually ends up with the maxim – “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. If beauty is as subjective as we all perceive it to be, then the question is – Is there anything as beauty and if there is, what is beauty?
Can one call something beautiful, if he pleases merely himself alone?
Many things may have charm, attraction and agreeableness to a person, but should it be called beautiful if it pleases him alone? If it’s called beautiful, then one must expect the same satisfaction from others.
Friday, January 12, 2007
Is beauty skin deep?
I'm not too sure if this title is appropriate for this article. I think it's a bit of an over statement for the content but i just don't seem to want to bother my head for a more appropriate heading.
Some People say Beauty is inward, some others think it is outward and another think it is both outward and inward.
Whatever school of thought you belong to, beauty is what you say it is. But really, can beauty be only inward?
I saw a documentary titled "Is beauty skin deep?" and remember hearing something that sounds like this - "beauty is largely physical (outward) though a good personality can compliment the physical beauty. Beauty as our environment recognises it, is largely physical. An outwardly beautiful person will get more attention and have more opportunities than an otherwise looking person. In the Fashion and entertainment world (which are mega businesses), Nobody really cares if your character stinks so long as you have the look for the industry. Though an inwardly beautiful person may also be seen and appreciated, perhaps only when time is taken to know the personality behind the looks".
I think Everyone is beautiful in their own ways, though it might be concealed by 1 or 2 things. No one has it all together. We have more beauty than we can imagine; we only need to harness those qualities that make us stand out.
Have a great weekend.
Some People say Beauty is inward, some others think it is outward and another think it is both outward and inward.
Whatever school of thought you belong to, beauty is what you say it is. But really, can beauty be only inward?
I saw a documentary titled "Is beauty skin deep?" and remember hearing something that sounds like this - "beauty is largely physical (outward) though a good personality can compliment the physical beauty. Beauty as our environment recognises it, is largely physical. An outwardly beautiful person will get more attention and have more opportunities than an otherwise looking person. In the Fashion and entertainment world (which are mega businesses), Nobody really cares if your character stinks so long as you have the look for the industry. Though an inwardly beautiful person may also be seen and appreciated, perhaps only when time is taken to know the personality behind the looks".
I think Everyone is beautiful in their own ways, though it might be concealed by 1 or 2 things. No one has it all together. We have more beauty than we can imagine; we only need to harness those qualities that make us stand out.
Have a great weekend.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Unemployment and unskilled labour.
Not that jobs are not available; based on my observations, unemployment persists for two reasons:
There are lot of job openings but no manpower to fill them.The unemployed man might be educated but is he specialised? There
is shortage of specialised manpower in the labour force. People move from one field of interest to the other every now and then majorly for increase in financial rewards and don't bother much about focusing on a particular field and sharpening their skills in that field.There are a lot of openings out there for experienced and specialised professionals; infact finding that kinda manpower is difficult.
I work in an HR firm and i've seen this trend. We have stacks and a huge online database of entry level and unprofessional resumes. Getting a trainee position has become really competitive because there are too many people out there who know bits and pieces of a lot (which eventually amounts to nothing) and nothing of anything.
Getting specialised and gaining experience might not have any immediate gratification but the reward is inevitable and long term. While a job hopper moves from one job to the other in varying fields (and loosing time) for monetary reward, the one who wants to get skilled focuses on his field of interest in an environment that allows for learning, development and adds relevent experiential value not particularly making financial reward a prime yardstick.
The opportunities for a skilled and experienced professional is limitless. He has a variety of offers to choose from because he is in high demand.
Bottomline is, if you want to leave the league of the unemployed and job seekers, get specialised. Focus on a field you are interested in and make yourself relevant in that field. Eventually, you will be the one declining mouth watery job offers for even much more mouth watery ones.
Bye.
- Shortage of skilled and experienced professionals
- A large percentage of unskilled people in the labour force.
There are lot of job openings but no manpower to fill them.The unemployed man might be educated but is he specialised? There
is shortage of specialised manpower in the labour force. People move from one field of interest to the other every now and then majorly for increase in financial rewards and don't bother much about focusing on a particular field and sharpening their skills in that field.There are a lot of openings out there for experienced and specialised professionals; infact finding that kinda manpower is difficult.I work in an HR firm and i've seen this trend. We have stacks and a huge online database of entry level and unprofessional resumes. Getting a trainee position has become really competitive because there are too many people out there who know bits and pieces of a lot (which eventually amounts to nothing) and nothing of anything.
Getting specialised and gaining experience might not have any immediate gratification but the reward is inevitable and long term. While a job hopper moves from one job to the other in varying fields (and loosing time) for monetary reward, the one who wants to get skilled focuses on his field of interest in an environment that allows for learning, development and adds relevent experiential value not particularly making financial reward a prime yardstick.
The opportunities for a skilled and experienced professional is limitless. He has a variety of offers to choose from because he is in high demand.
Bottomline is, if you want to leave the league of the unemployed and job seekers, get specialised. Focus on a field you are interested in and make yourself relevant in that field. Eventually, you will be the one declining mouth watery job offers for even much more mouth watery ones.
Bye.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Loosing Gracefully
While growing up, we were taught a lot by our teachers, parents, friends and other family members but somehow, the art of loosing gracefully was left out. Maybe because our teachers also didn't know how to loose and let go gracefully.
I know being at the loosing end is painful and difficult especially in a society where somehow subconsciously we have imbibed the "do or die" attitude. (I am not calling this attitude bad).
We hold on to stuff that we should let go because of the fear of the unknown. we wonder how life will be without the baggage. We just find it almost impossible to make that choice of letting go.
There are at times when it's so crystal clear that your partner wants out and there's no reversing it; you and i know when it's really over but we just won’t let go.
The loss of a relationship can be incredibly hard - you can feel so much pain. There's not only the grief from losing someone important in your life, but the pain of seeing your hopes and dreams of a future life together disappear as well. Sometimes this is the hardest part - having to totally readjust your view of how you saw your life unfolding in the next 5 to 10 years. Suddenly, you can't see into the future and it's scary.
The fear of starting over, Difficulty in trusting again, one might even develop an identity crisis.
All these fears keep us from bowing out of a lost battle; we still want to hang in there and hope something can be done while enduring undignifying heart wrenching hurts and pains. This form of ‘needy and clingy’ attitude but sometimes, we just think it's a hopeless situation.
Sometimes letting go just happens after you've let yourself grieve and rage and whatever else you need to do. Other times, people have to deliberately and consciously focus on letting go. It is tempting to hold on, and scary to let go. Saying to yourself that you are letting go of your ex-partner can be helpful. Interrupting yourself when you get stuck thinking or talking about her/him and redirecting your focus onto something else is all part of letting go.
Filling your life with activities that you enjoy - creative, playful, sociable, soulful activities - are all ways to nurture yourself back to health.
One can loose with respect, dignity and self esteem intact- that is loosing gracefully. Accept it's over and it's not within your control and move on. Don't sit down there whining and being a pest. Move on!
Being able to loose gracefully touches all areas of existence; cus faceit, life is a battle and winning is not guaranteed all the time.
You don't have to be the one to have the last say in an argument, you don't always have to justify your actions. Learn to accept your faults and mistakes and look for ways to make up for them.
It's difficult to do; but we'll be stronger and better for it.
Cheers!
Monday, January 08, 2007
2007 - Watch out!
Hey Folks! Welcome to a great 2007.I am extremely enthusiastic about this year, i just know that it's going to be like no other. I am happy that 2006 is over; it's a closed chapter. All the wrong choices and mistakes of 2006 are gone. I have a clean slate, I will set a good premise for the year and i'll build on it good choices and actions. I will not compromise on right standards.
I see my 2007 filled with surprises so long as i do my own part. I'm about to experience a year i've never experienced in my life on earth. This year is filled with goodies if you can harness it.
Congratulations! we made it.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Ref: Previous Post
I got a comment on my last post from an anonymous (Didn't publish it though); One of the points of the comment is that it's indecent (or something Like that) and unclassy to use the word 'dump' for a guy and it's as disrespectful as the word 'bitch'.
Maybe this anonymous took my statement "Dump him like a piece of trash if he treats you like one" out of context. Perhaps, he (undoubtedly a guy) didn't pause to look at this statement from the 'If' clause and must have read the beginning clause in isolation. I kinda like the criticism outside of the direct attack nature of it; Though i sense that maybe the word 'dump' triggers some emotion in this person. But for crying out loud a great number of people have been dumped; even the best of men have been rejected for whatever reason -justifiable or otherwise.
Maybe the article is on the offensive to the male gender OR is it an ego thing? Well, can't tell yet, i've got just this one comment from just this one anonymous.
cheers!
Maybe this anonymous took my statement "Dump him like a piece of trash if he treats you like one" out of context. Perhaps, he (undoubtedly a guy) didn't pause to look at this statement from the 'If' clause and must have read the beginning clause in isolation. I kinda like the criticism outside of the direct attack nature of it; Though i sense that maybe the word 'dump' triggers some emotion in this person. But for crying out loud a great number of people have been dumped; even the best of men have been rejected for whatever reason -justifiable or otherwise.
Maybe the article is on the offensive to the male gender OR is it an ego thing? Well, can't tell yet, i've got just this one comment from just this one anonymous.
cheers!
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
To my Ladies
This is from my heart to all the ladies.
You are more valuable than you think or can imagine. Don't let the mistakes and experiences of your past determine your choices now and in the future. You are not who that guy says you are (good or bad), you are more than that. Carry yourself with pride and value. Please don't dwell on the past "stupidities"...you can rise above them.
You may think you've given too much to that relationship and you can't let go though he treats you a little more than trash. Talk to yourself, you are stronger than you think. You will thrive well without letting someone destroy the rose in you.
Think about it, you may not even end up with him..so why let him rub you off your value. Forget about the sexual intimacies, You are still valuable in every way (don't be fooled). Don't let someone rub you off your value because he has seen you just the way you are. You can still treasure yourself.
Girl, Dump him like a piece of trash if he makes you feel like one. He doesn't deserve any better treatment. Move on, Do things that make you happy, use that energy for somethingmore productive. And for God sake, there is atleast a guy out there who will appreciate and nurture you.
Have a merry Xmas.
You are more valuable than you think or can imagine. Don't let the mistakes and experiences of your past determine your choices now and in the future. You are not who that guy says you are (good or bad), you are more than that. Carry yourself with pride and value. Please don't dwell on the past "stupidities"...you can rise above them.
You may think you've given too much to that relationship and you can't let go though he treats you a little more than trash. Talk to yourself, you are stronger than you think. You will thrive well without letting someone destroy the rose in you.
Think about it, you may not even end up with him..so why let him rub you off your value. Forget about the sexual intimacies, You are still valuable in every way (don't be fooled). Don't let someone rub you off your value because he has seen you just the way you are. You can still treasure yourself.
Girl, Dump him like a piece of trash if he makes you feel like one. He doesn't deserve any better treatment. Move on, Do things that make you happy, use that energy for somethingmore productive. And for God sake, there is atleast a guy out there who will appreciate and nurture you.
Have a merry Xmas.
Grey Areas
Yesterday, getting home from the office was quite difficult, waited a while at the bus stop and finally had to go and join a friend at their office end of year party. While there, i made some obvious observations that informed my writing this article. Giving the details of the drama will definitely take a lot of space but i saw how certain factors can make one lose inhibitions and expose the frequently hidden side of ones personality.
In a man's strengths are also his weaknesses. Most times, people present to others the side of their personalty they want to be seen. Usually the noble side - selfless, loyal, responsible...everything positive and powerful (by what standards though?). But beneath that is a negative that is inversely proportional to that positive. When i see people, i most often focus on the bright side...because that's what they illuminate but somewhere along the line and in obscurity is some form of darkness. For example -
Someone who is always cheerful, pleasant and eager to help most often might be concealing a lot of hidden aggression, resentment, anger and this will often come out subtly in form of actions that are passively aggressive and sabotaging. In the same vein, an aggressive, dominant attitude is most often disguising a shy qand timid attitude. A strong preaching against sexual immoralities might be a pointer to an underlying sexual issues.
obvious case can be found on the campus fellowships - sisters who are advocates for no make-up, earings, trousers most times end up being the ones who wear them more when out of campus.
Situations reveal the darkside in us, especially money (sudden acquisition without character) can wreck the seemingly most dignified fellow. Body language and Alcohol can offer also a sneak preview to the covered unpleasants.
Ciao!
In a man's strengths are also his weaknesses. Most times, people present to others the side of their personalty they want to be seen. Usually the noble side - selfless, loyal, responsible...everything positive and powerful (by what standards though?). But beneath that is a negative that is inversely proportional to that positive. When i see people, i most often focus on the bright side...because that's what they illuminate but somewhere along the line and in obscurity is some form of darkness. For example -
Someone who is always cheerful, pleasant and eager to help most often might be concealing a lot of hidden aggression, resentment, anger and this will often come out subtly in form of actions that are passively aggressive and sabotaging. In the same vein, an aggressive, dominant attitude is most often disguising a shy qand timid attitude. A strong preaching against sexual immoralities might be a pointer to an underlying sexual issues.
obvious case can be found on the campus fellowships - sisters who are advocates for no make-up, earings, trousers most times end up being the ones who wear them more when out of campus.
Situations reveal the darkside in us, especially money (sudden acquisition without character) can wreck the seemingly most dignified fellow. Body language and Alcohol can offer also a sneak preview to the covered unpleasants.
Ciao!
Monday, December 18, 2006
"Aristo" Syndrome
If you live in Nigeria or a citizen of this country then the heading will not sound strange to you.
I beleive the aristo word was coined from the word "aristocracy" meaning (in this context) - A group or class considered superior to others.
This phrase in our own language describes the relationship between young schoool girls and older men,usually married men.Reason i think is the beleif that they are richer than most single men and can afford to take care of their needs.Just recently, i found out another reason for the preference among young girls - which is that these married men treat them with respect and appreciation (Funny).This trend is on the rise and a lot of ladies now are begining to insist on older men; i got this impression from an article i read in this month's edition of True Love Magazine. I Could see the desire in the writer's points; She made it sound so attractive.
The arsto thingy is actually a symbiotic relationship (remember symbiosis: ur secondary schl biology) Let me brsh u up a li'l bit.
Symbiosis is a term that describes a stable and reciprocally profitable association between two different living organisms.Symbiosis can bring together two very different organisms:
1) two animals. For example, oxbirds ride the backs of African Cape buffalo eating the buffalo’s parasites: the bird gets a free meal; the buffalo gets rid of annoying insects) ;
2) a plant and a fungus. For example, a lichen is a convenient union between an alga and a fungus ;
3) an animal and a plant. For example, bees transport pollen from plant to plant when they search the plants for nectar: bees nourish themselves on the nectar; the plants reproduce after fertilisation by the pollen from other plants ;
4) a bacteria and an animal (for example, the bacteria present in the digestive tracts of herbivores) or a bacteria and a plant, among many other combinations.
And of course the 5th one which is relevant to this topic is The concept of symbiosis thatextends to the relationships between human (young girls and Older men).
I understand that ladies date older and often married men primarily because of Money and what it can get and they in turn give companionship (Sexual gratification and 'maybe' emotional comfort). Any single girl that is relatively comfortable (car, designer clothes,shoes & bags, jewelleries and all the works) is regarded as an "Aristo Chic"
One possible reason for the increase in the aristo trend can be traced to the so-called decline in the availability of single guys; they say the ratio of women to men is 1:4. Meaning that for every guy out there (Good, bad and ugly) there are at least 4 girls dying to have him (is this true?). This scarcity might have resulted into settling for the married ones, of course this depends on the motive.
People who do this, especially the ladies don't easily admit to it. Perhaps, because of it's mora implications.
I'm not writing for or against this trend, i'm not looking at it from the moral point of view; this is clearly a description of a trend in our society.
I beleive the aristo word was coined from the word "aristocracy" meaning (in this context) - A group or class considered superior to others.
This phrase in our own language describes the relationship between young schoool girls and older men,usually married men.Reason i think is the beleif that they are richer than most single men and can afford to take care of their needs.Just recently, i found out another reason for the preference among young girls - which is that these married men treat them with respect and appreciation (Funny).This trend is on the rise and a lot of ladies now are begining to insist on older men; i got this impression from an article i read in this month's edition of True Love Magazine. I Could see the desire in the writer's points; She made it sound so attractive.
The arsto thingy is actually a symbiotic relationship (remember symbiosis: ur secondary schl biology) Let me brsh u up a li'l bit.
Symbiosis is a term that describes a stable and reciprocally profitable association between two different living organisms.Symbiosis can bring together two very different organisms:
1) two animals. For example, oxbirds ride the backs of African Cape buffalo eating the buffalo’s parasites: the bird gets a free meal; the buffalo gets rid of annoying insects) ;
2) a plant and a fungus. For example, a lichen is a convenient union between an alga and a fungus ;
3) an animal and a plant. For example, bees transport pollen from plant to plant when they search the plants for nectar: bees nourish themselves on the nectar; the plants reproduce after fertilisation by the pollen from other plants ;
4) a bacteria and an animal (for example, the bacteria present in the digestive tracts of herbivores) or a bacteria and a plant, among many other combinations.
And of course the 5th one which is relevant to this topic is The concept of symbiosis thatextends to the relationships between human (young girls and Older men).
I understand that ladies date older and often married men primarily because of Money and what it can get and they in turn give companionship (Sexual gratification and 'maybe' emotional comfort). Any single girl that is relatively comfortable (car, designer clothes,shoes & bags, jewelleries and all the works) is regarded as an "Aristo Chic"
One possible reason for the increase in the aristo trend can be traced to the so-called decline in the availability of single guys; they say the ratio of women to men is 1:4. Meaning that for every guy out there (Good, bad and ugly) there are at least 4 girls dying to have him (is this true?). This scarcity might have resulted into settling for the married ones, of course this depends on the motive.
People who do this, especially the ladies don't easily admit to it. Perhaps, because of it's mora implications.
I'm not writing for or against this trend, i'm not looking at it from the moral point of view; this is clearly a description of a trend in our society.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Why are you here?
just last week, my boss asked us this fundamental question- Why are we here?
Uuhm! and i really could not give a totally honest reply.., not like i couldn't give an immediate one. But i knew it was not a question to be answered in a hurry.
Why am i here? This question encapsulates a lot of other questions we ask ourselves in deep thought.
Affter Taking some time, i was able to come up with my own answer. It is ambigous because it's only a summary of why i am here. Perhaps i'll take them one by one in my subsequent postings.
I am here To Live, To Love and To Learn.
Why are you here?
Please share with me and others on the reason why you are here.
Uuhm! and i really could not give a totally honest reply.., not like i couldn't give an immediate one. But i knew it was not a question to be answered in a hurry.
Why am i here? This question encapsulates a lot of other questions we ask ourselves in deep thought.
Affter Taking some time, i was able to come up with my own answer. It is ambigous because it's only a summary of why i am here. Perhaps i'll take them one by one in my subsequent postings.
I am here To Live, To Love and To Learn.
Why are you here?
Please share with me and others on the reason why you are here.
Monday, December 11, 2006
To-Do-List Variation
Does having a To-Do-List (in the office) really help us work faster, better and effectively?Writing a TDL reminds me of the routinous nature of work; It has a robotic feel for me, like a program to control my activities; especially when you have to put a time frame to it.
When it comes to working (office)...,i think commitment is what determines your efficiency and effectiveness. Certainly not a monitoring tool like a To-Do-List.
Friday, December 08, 2006
Christmas
Christmas is regarded as a high point in most countries of the world. Why? Does it have real meaning to us today?
Since about 400 AD, Christians have celebrated the birth of Jesus.
Today, the real meaning of Christmas is almost forgotten. It has become a non-religious holiday! More children believe in Father Christmas than in Jesus and Christmas Day has become a day of just eating and drinking alone.
The real Christmas story can be found in the bible in the Christian Bible. It is told in two different books: Matthew and Luke chapters 1 and 2. In case you don't have a bible, you can read online.
From November onwards, it is impossible to forget that Christmas is coming. Christmas decorations fill many shops, offices, homes and roads. Shopping centres become busier as December approaches and often stay open till late. It is a period where shopping is high. People buy more gifts, clothings. shoes, foods and all to celebrate the season. On every street corner, Christmas carol - the traditional Christmas Christian songs, and in some countries, groups of people will often sing carols on the streets to raise money for charity. The bottomline is that we should not forget the reason for the season. Don't get all caught up in the celebration and forget your redeemer. If he was not born, perhaps there won't be xmas. |
| He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree. ~Roy L. Smith |
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Independent Will - what is the real you?
Independent will is the ability to keep the promises we make to ourselves and others. It is the ability to make decisions and choices and to act in accordance with those choices and decisions. The extent to which our independent will is developed is tested in our day-to-day lives in form of personal integrity. It is the ability to give meaning to our words and walk the walk. It is an integral part of how much value is placed on oneself.
Real discipline should come from within based on your own core values and also from where they are derived. To be an effective self manager, it is important to be able to surbordinate your feelings, impulses and moods to the values that you uphold.
I can imagine someone's asking "why the conflict...if i'm a follower of the independent will principle, then what is the justification for my previous post? That's the same question i'm asking myself.
Life is a learning process, I'm still working really hard on developing my own independent will.
The paradoxical nature just reflects the human nature - You know what is right and you just don't have enough integrity to do it. That's the story of a lot of us (don't even try to point fingers) Think about a lot of the actions you have taken and the decisions you have made.
What were the driving force behind those actions?
Perhaps you have your values written down , pasted visibly some where and even in your head, but do you really live by them?
How about the very little decisions we make on seemingly little and insignificant issues? What is our private life like?
....Because that's who we really are.
Real discipline should come from within based on your own core values and also from where they are derived. To be an effective self manager, it is important to be able to surbordinate your feelings, impulses and moods to the values that you uphold.
I can imagine someone's asking "why the conflict...if i'm a follower of the independent will principle, then what is the justification for my previous post? That's the same question i'm asking myself.
Life is a learning process, I'm still working really hard on developing my own independent will.
The paradoxical nature just reflects the human nature - You know what is right and you just don't have enough integrity to do it. That's the story of a lot of us (don't even try to point fingers) Think about a lot of the actions you have taken and the decisions you have made.
What were the driving force behind those actions?
Perhaps you have your values written down , pasted visibly some where and even in your head, but do you really live by them?
How about the very little decisions we make on seemingly little and insignificant issues? What is our private life like?
....Because that's who we really are.
"Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street."
- Elbert Hubbard
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
What is my Problem?
'tis a good day.
I've got some professional Exams tomorrow and i can't feel any form of agitation and anticipation. One gets this feeling most times when you are confident about your readiness for a test; but the case here is the opposite. I'm not quite ready, juggling work and study amongst other things have been herculous for me. It's not because i can't find the time to do them all but it seems like i can't settle down to do all that i should be doing. I was thinking before now if it's a priority thing or just a lack of interest for the examination; well maybe there's some lack of interest but for crying out loud i made the move of going to pay for the exams at the 11th hour. because i knew too well that i will be ready for my 2 papers in 7weeks or maybe i overrated my ability? Though i do not think so. Initially i didn't know why i'm not so prepared for my test; But now i know:
Read carefully and pls feel free to criticise my excuse.
Reason is this - Accountancy is not what i want for myself, i am more interested in HR but i think that having an ACCA qualification will make me more competitive in my field of interest.
One day, after brainstorming for a while about how i wanted to add immediate value to myself, i decided to go ahead and pay for 2 papers in level 2. But now it's like what i call Strategic Plans on Top Shelf. Like what a lot of us do. we take time to think, brainstorm, analyse, criticise and finally come up with a strong strategic plan, full of motivation and at the end of the day, they become materials for top shelfs. That means we end up not acting on them; they become stacks (you don't want to throw them away immediately for guilt sake). Like "New Year Resolution". We design and develop them but no execution.
Anyway, That's exactly what happened to me regarding this examination. Nevertheless, i will finish it and get certified.
I've got some professional Exams tomorrow and i can't feel any form of agitation and anticipation. One gets this feeling most times when you are confident about your readiness for a test; but the case here is the opposite. I'm not quite ready, juggling work and study amongst other things have been herculous for me. It's not because i can't find the time to do them all but it seems like i can't settle down to do all that i should be doing. I was thinking before now if it's a priority thing or just a lack of interest for the examination; well maybe there's some lack of interest but for crying out loud i made the move of going to pay for the exams at the 11th hour. because i knew too well that i will be ready for my 2 papers in 7weeks or maybe i overrated my ability? Though i do not think so. Initially i didn't know why i'm not so prepared for my test; But now i know:
Read carefully and pls feel free to criticise my excuse.
Reason is this - Accountancy is not what i want for myself, i am more interested in HR but i think that having an ACCA qualification will make me more competitive in my field of interest.
One day, after brainstorming for a while about how i wanted to add immediate value to myself, i decided to go ahead and pay for 2 papers in level 2. But now it's like what i call Strategic Plans on Top Shelf. Like what a lot of us do. we take time to think, brainstorm, analyse, criticise and finally come up with a strong strategic plan, full of motivation and at the end of the day, they become materials for top shelfs. That means we end up not acting on them; they become stacks (you don't want to throw them away immediately for guilt sake). Like "New Year Resolution". We design and develop them but no execution.
Anyway, That's exactly what happened to me regarding this examination. Nevertheless, i will finish it and get certified.
Monday, December 04, 2006
Everyday People -
I apologise for my absence. I still do not quite know what to write about but i'm just gonna start. It works better for me like that. I know one thing peculiar to everyone on this planet is that we meet and interact with people every now and then (Even if you are Incarcerated). Some of us have challeneges with managing the different kinds of people we meet every now and then; some look like they are heaven sent and some like thay are assigned from hell to make your life miserable- they just beat your imagination. I'm sure we've all fallen at one time into these 2 categories. You really want to know? Ask people around you- You just might not seem as nice as you think you are coming across.
Remember this story- "THE GOODY TWO SHOES"? (This phrase now refers to a self-righteous, smugly virtuous person).
It comes from the title of a rather twee and moralistic nursery tale called The History of Goody Two-Shoes, which was written by Oliver Goldsmith, and published in 1765. Goody owned only one shoe. When she was given a pair of them, she was so pleased that she showed them to everybody, saying “Two shoes”.
I am an advocate of "know a man before diagnosing his person".
People make erroneaous conclusions and form baseless reservations about others they barely know or even people we think we know well. We unconsciously make our experiences or do i say lack of one? a yardstick for measuring people's personalty. And then some of us even are quick to pass judgement and run other people down..Why do we 'bitch' about? Maybe it stems from a fundamental feeling of inadequacy that makes us feel that putting others down will make us feel better. The truth is - It is a reflection of what you really are (Think about it)
Human Beings are evolving through time? our perceptions, views and opinions are subject to change in the same way as we are subject to imperfections.
For the Self righteous, Smugly virteuos individual; Please take a minute to think before you run down other people around you. Remember the verse in the Good Book that says "Remove the log in your eyes before you see the specks in another's eyes"
Maybe that log just ain't making you see clearly.
Give a break!
Remember this story- "THE GOODY TWO SHOES"? (This phrase now refers to a self-righteous, smugly virtuous person).
It comes from the title of a rather twee and moralistic nursery tale called The History of Goody Two-Shoes, which was written by Oliver Goldsmith, and published in 1765. Goody owned only one shoe. When she was given a pair of them, she was so pleased that she showed them to everybody, saying “Two shoes”.
I am an advocate of "know a man before diagnosing his person".
People make erroneaous conclusions and form baseless reservations about others they barely know or even people we think we know well. We unconsciously make our experiences or do i say lack of one? a yardstick for measuring people's personalty. And then some of us even are quick to pass judgement and run other people down..Why do we 'bitch' about? Maybe it stems from a fundamental feeling of inadequacy that makes us feel that putting others down will make us feel better. The truth is - It is a reflection of what you really are (Think about it)
Human Beings are evolving through time? our perceptions, views and opinions are subject to change in the same way as we are subject to imperfections.
For the Self righteous, Smugly virteuos individual; Please take a minute to think before you run down other people around you. Remember the verse in the Good Book that says "Remove the log in your eyes before you see the specks in another's eyes"
Maybe that log just ain't making you see clearly.
Give a break!
Friday, November 03, 2006
A Moment of Thought
A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, he found his three-year-old son happily hammering dents into the shiny truck surface. Without giving it a thought, he hammered the little boy's hand.
he innocently said - "Daddy, I’m sorry about your truck".
Then he asked- “but when are my fingers going to grow back?"
At times we say some actions are reflex or perhaps, there's no time for thinking before reacting. The truth is, you can consciously decide what your reaction will be. You can master the art such that you become conditioned to what i'll call a positive reaction (irrespective of the situation).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)