FreedomUntitled

MY TRUTH

2011-12-01T16:43:00.011+01:00

Truth is the opposite of lie, an embodiment of honesty, sincerity, openness, clarity and simplicity. Nothing is clearer nor simpler than the truth. Needless to say, the Truth is guided by perception and convictions, which is based on personal intuitions and value judgement; It is highly probable and widely differing according to as many situations, personalities, context it is subjected to. Truth is Subjective, Sentiments laden and peculiarity disposed. Hence the Truth is Personal.

This leads us to the topic of what is the standard and guideline for truth? Is it Historic (Events/Occurrences), Religious (Spiritual), Circumstantial (Time Requirement)or Innate (deeply embedded in the soul of man).

The Truth is Historic because given past experiences, events and occurrences, one can predict the future. This is so true to a huge sense. Economically, Politically, Financially. It is so true that even the existence and survival of world powers have been hinged on the predictability of past indices and behaviours. Major successes have been attained as a result of being able to evaluate correct the historical events and make future predictions based on these findings.
Relationships have been 'somewhat' accurately adjudged by considering the behavioural patterns of persons involved given the circumstances.
Even Traditionally or say I, spiritually, the extent of someones progress in life can be determined by the individual ancestral precedences so to speak.
Against this backdrop, one can unceremoniously say that Truth can be found in history. However, more often than not, certain unexpected occurrences have occurred that have shaken the very essence of every belief system,scientific reasoning and psychological theories. The Unpredictability of these certain isolated occurrences make their implications extreme and far reaching due to lack of preparedness. This, therefore is what inherently renders the 'so called' Truth inconsequential.

The Religious dimension of Truth: This dimension I will say proffers the strongest argument because RELIGION IS A MATTER OF CONVICTION. And no system is worth believing if the element of conviction is missing. Conviction remains grounded even when facts are unreliable, Conviction gives power, meaning and life to the abstract and intangible. Often we hear comments such as 'I can't explain it but i just know', 'It's what i believe and its not open for discussion', 'I just don't why I love him/her'. Conviction is very powerful, stronger than blood (family ties) itself. Conviction is what leads people to die for a cause they believe in....talk about suicide bombings. Nonetheless though, conviction can be an offshoot of brainwashing...(lol).
Anyway, my point is this - with millions ok, say thousands of religious beliefs and doctrines that are very well differing in dogma which essentially makes the message that is, the Truth fragmented, conflicting and complex. Giving the nature of Truth (simplicity, clarity); Religion does not provide the awesome basis for Truth.

Circumstantial Dimension: I love this one because it is embedded in human nature. This dimension describes the context of Making commitments and promises as a matter of time requirement. You love someone today and stop loving tomorrow: does that invalidate the initial feeling of love? The answer is NO because you felt what you felt based on the circumstances and happenstances as at that time. Taking those situations away may change the feeling in a different direction.
We are all guilty of committing to something and end up not fulfilling it not necessarily because you intended that from the onset, but things changed afterwards. Sometimes, the unexpected happens and it becomes simply impossible to meet up and other times flimsy things like 'forgetting' 'changing one's mind for no plausible reason'. Does that now mean that that the intents were false? Hell..NO! Nonetheless, it predisposes the person in question to being perceived as having no credibility and lacking the appearance of Truth. Therefore, Circumstantial/Time requirement does not provide a plausible vantage ground for Truth to be rooted. Action Speaks Louder than Words, they say.

Lastly, The Innate Dimension: This simply says - The Truth is within. When nothing else adds up, you will find the Awesome Truth in the deep and quiet place of your heart. It is that personal Truth that no other person knows but you. It is the personal Truth, the one that liberates.
In the face of trials, temptations, against the odds, after all is said and done, the only surviving Truth is the none that resides in your heart, the one you found by yourself. That there, is your spring of strength when push comes to shove. The innate Truth is there within every man.
There is no generalizing this type of truth. It varies for every individual and circumstance and there is no parameter or yardstick to measure it. That which is the Innate Truth to one can be falsehood to another and even that which is generally falsehood by every reasonable standard can be Truth for another. What you call your Truth is where you find your rest and sanity. That is my Truth.
Here is an example of a very ugly lady; I mean ugly by Evey definition and all physical sense. But If she thinks she is beautiful and that transcends into her perception of herself, than that is her Truth and the Universal Truth.
The innate Truth draws its strength from a more spiritual place. It is the only Truth that allows you to create and recreate.
However, the Innate Truth begs the question of Justification; which is entirely another topic for learned philosophers and ideologists (I could care less). Based on all the disparities, The innate is most ideal.

Life is Sweeter With People

2010-10-30T00:02:00.008+01:00

I dedicate this post to all the people who have been a part of my life at some point or the other. Some of u I met as a matter of destiny and for some it was just Time and Chance, some I didn't have a choice and for some I had a choice. The journey has been Not such a long one but you are the ones who put the drama, episodes and adventure in it. It was not all good all the way, some were good and leaves with me the fond memories of time past, some were not so good and was distasteful; but in general, there was something in common...you taught me to be better, to appreciate the little things of life and to know that Friendship is refreshing. Relationship is the energy that fuels the world.
I remember my days as a child, growing up then was infused with mixed feelings... I was relatively sheltered within the scope of my environment/neighbourhood. Kids could run around, play football around the yard, yell, scream and all. You know that kind of neighbourhood where you know the names of everyone on your street and can identify them with their faces. Anyway, i never really had the free hand to explore within my environment. But I do remember some things which continually bring smile to my face. My childhood friend Ngozi...we were square holes in round pegs, even as children, we knew that and we formed our clique. she was my best friend as a child, we did everything together, pre-school was fun with her, we exchanged lunchboxes, went to school together, sat together, ate together and left together. I think once we kissed....butterfly kisses, what u would expect from 4 year olds. It's about 25years now, And I have not laid my eyes on her but she remains in my fondest memories. God bless u Ngozi, wherever you are and whoever you have become.

I was always the favourite of the teachers and that meant automatic animosity with my classmates, but it all went well, having the teachers by my side made me somewhat untouchable.... You can hate but you can't hit me. But something happened! My class teacher beat me up so much because he felt I did not deliver his letter to another female teacher. (well, actually, those letters were love advances. Once, I opened one of the letters...Uhm! Yes I did...and so what?). Bottomline is, I got beaten up seriously because the lady never responded and so he felt I never delivered any of his letters.
I do not want to start to analyse the scenario; so all ye deep thinkers, please save your pondering, analysis and argument for things in the present.

Right now, I'm having torrents upon torrents of my experiences with people that i have met and known over the years... Bla...bla ...bla
And then, I grew up, and my eyes became open to so many things. The devices and schemings of humans are limitless. Some were obvious, some unassuming...but I learnt and I am the better for it. I am not ostracising myself from these humanly ways, I think I could have been a better friend to a few people...hey, I'm not playing the victim alone here. I must have been a villain too at some point.

Every experience was worth it, Now I understand that friendship is a part of living, and true friendship is hard to find. If you don't find one,outside of you better half, then just love the ones that you have, relate and deal with them individually based on who they are, but most importantly be tolerant and not judgemental, enjoy every moment you can share with them...because those might be the lighter notes of your life.

To my best friend and my husband... Knowing you is the highest point of my life. From the day I said I do, every experience with you has been the bedrock of my world.

It's a year and seven months.

2009-12-12T20:56:00.006+01:00

..but my inconsistency always seem to get the part of me. Especially when i'm having a ball, i almost always forget about most other things, coupled with the fact that there's more than one person to think about now, as a matter of fact i can say 7 more to think about...How does one even start to juggle that? There is my babies to think about and all relevant others. (Sighs)... Anyway.. lots and lots of excuses.

I am more result oriented and productive when i'm in a melancholic state... i get the drive and inspiration to make a better me in some form of depression...,yay! weird...i know. It's unbeleivable how much i realise what potential is in me and figure out how to harnes them. My creativity is also at its highest then.

A lot has changed in my life in the past few months. I've had to change from that care-free, easy go-lucky girl that i was to a woman who has to think and care abt so much and nothing. and suddenly being exposed the spotlight of conformity to the numerous powers that be; and constant evaluation and re-evaluation.

I am a woman now! and i don't want to be a bee as is 2nd nature to womanhood. I don't always want to be doing something, i don't want to be picking and cleaning and criticising and instructing and carrrying and organising and all the activities. I don't want to loose myself in the expectation of being a woman.

I can't find my passion and creativeness; my multifacetedness (whatever!). I am loosing my restlessness...

I want it now and i want it then.

2008-05-04T12:57:00.000+01:00

My last piece was inconclusive…
Due to series of events in the past weeks, the story doesn’t go on and on.
All I can say is that -
I found out that amidst the unlikeliness can be sincerity and love.
The ones we think don’t deserve our love are the ones that truly deserve them.

Ciao!

...For the sake of love

2008-04-17T12:43:00.004+01:00

In the past weeks, i have paid more attention to my environment in terms of how people relate to themselves particularly within the concept of 'Love'.
What we do and how far we go for love
The excitement and adrenaline rush that are typical to the initial symptom of love
The inexplicable long lasting, bitter-sweet after taste of love.

Everyone is looking for protection, a safe place where there are no imminent threats to our existence; That gives an insight to why there are 'unlikely' couples,.. no apparent common grounds especially on the physiologically.
I mean, what other reason would a seemimngly perceived 'good girl' be doing with a perfectly 'bad guy' - The just not good enough, sub-standard guy? Everything else being equal... so it's not for comfort, the innate man or any other thing that can confuse the meaning of love.

Toyin has got a lot going for her, giving her love completely to a man who she thought was the perfect recipient for it; but the unexpected happened, he walked away. Whille she was re-examining the whole events of her past relationship(s), she met this unlikely guy.. her friends and families thot she was loosing her mind because this guy has got a condition that is tantamount to a lot of health problems. But She wants to damn all consequences so long as the man within is not going to walk away.

Temi was dating Bonga.. who didn't quite treat her well during the life of the relationship. He never introduced her as his girlfriend, and never took her out to public places. For Temi, she was hoping that things would get better and he will gradually learn to accept her as his hearthrob. She was alone in her love. Anyway, Bonga broke off as expected.
Now Temi is getting married to this wonderful guy who treats her like the princess that she is..
But the thoughts of Bonga fish won't just dissipate, the possibilities of what would have been with him still lurks in her mind.

.....To be continued

In and Thru my mind

2008-04-03T15:17:00.004+01:00

My alter ego is strong, compulsive and slightly askew.
It does get the better part of me a lot of times, especially on an emotional plain. I also dont like to stop it most of those times, like it's got a mind of it's own and i want to explore.
And there are times where my thoughts just go catawampus, contorted and screwy... if u know what i mean.

And you know what? I crossed the lawn yesterday on Ajose yesterday... so much for new year dos and donts. I am sorry i did, and i will not do it again. It's no such a big deal; but it's unfair to my independent will if i can't keep a promise as little as that.
And you know why i have to keep it? because it is inconsequential to nothing and it's not a matter of emotion, no driving force... So i will keep it because it's almost mundane.

The past few weeks have been hilly and contourish,.. and im still walkin on the hills and valleys.
..Even if i walk thru the valley of the shadow of death, i will fear no evil for God is with me.

And these contours are not valleys of the shadow of death... so i don't dare to fear.

Strength is my weakness... one without the other doesn't just make sense. You give me strength and u make my knees wobble, mixed feelings of fear and uncertainty,.... and the cravings and desires. I love you and i'm overbearing.

Went cold turkey on blogville for a while, blamed it to a change of environment... and now another change would not even restore it. Those are one of my numerous excuses for several of my inactions.

Have i become so numb... am i loosing my soul? i am asking me because just last night, i was walkin thru from my office to chocolat royale and i saw these 2 thieves that had been mobbed and were facing the likelihood of jungle justice...
and for several moments i did not flinch at the thought of these guys being burnt to death. I was indifferent... and u know wat that truly means.
Indifference to either a good or a bad act indicates a tilt torward the negative choice. My mind started to wonder about the future evil these 2 guys will perpetrate if given a chance.

My only regrets are for the things i did not do.. and not for those i did.

Here and Now

2008-03-26T17:46:00.001+01:00

Silence is sometimes louder than words,.. And this present silence is deafening..
I hear it , it is clear and I understand it…there is almost not more to say. But to leave it all to the notion of silence will be inconclusive and the likelihood of fallacy and misrepresentation can not be ruled out.
I could afford to continue indulging in the golden silence… and unhesitatingly continue the forward motion… But I don’t want to – in the guise of self pride and preservation discount what was very dear and special to me. It is at least worth a looking back.
And that is what I am doing today. Looking back may be weak…, but I am not afraid to be weak because that in itself is strength. I made the move to talk today because Words are affirmative… I do not want to indulge in the luxury of the open-endedness that silence provides.
I want to talk.
I have asked myself since the moment I made that call – what exactly I want to talk about?
Have I made a decision? And what is it?
What is the true intent/motive behind this move?
What do I expect to be the outcome of this talk?
My ponderings sicken me. .. like an arrow in the heart and butterflies in my stomach. The combination of these two is not at all a nice feeling.
Anyway, Time is fast drawing near.. I would face one of my fears… Never contemplated this happening… not in the least so soon.

My Valentine 14.02.06

2008-02-14T17:44:00.001+01:00

whats up my dear
how u doin?
miss u is an understatement. hope u are very well?
so what are u up to today?
everytime i think of where we have come from and where we at right now i am happy and i am glad i got to know u, the real u that hardly do people know or see. i am glad i have a friend in u, really glad that i do. I am sure u will turn out welll and u will get to achieve all the things u want in life and get to be the best that u can be.
i hope u get to have fun today and not be bored and all.
me i am alrite i have been in doors all day working on all sorts on my computer.
its cold here and i dont even know if there is valentine in the air at all.
sometimes i look at ur pics and i laugh, i cannot help but remember the last time i was at ur place, or the ride from ife to ibadan and then to lagos or the ride from the beach that nite etc.
u cant imagine how often i think about all the time we have spent together.
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!! thats ur sound and i hear it in my head from time to time.
okay thats it.
u take care of ur self and God bless u.
cheers

Freedom in Chains

2008-02-14T17:36:00.004+01:00

One of my favourite words is freedom, - In all it’s variations I have tried to ponder – independence, autonomy, choice. And every time I consider and think about freedom, I always still find myself at that inconclusive point of the ‘delusive nature of freedom’.
If Freedom is a state of lack of restriction and independence where there is autonomy of choice and the liberty of free will.
The wordiness of this definition is in a bid to capture the true meaning of freedom. Notwithstanding, It is still weakly and inadequately represented.
If this definition can be likened or linked to freedom, then is there really such thing as freedom?
We all crave to be free. Free from Influences…
Parents telling us how to live our lives, schools trying to instill certain behavioural patterns,
Free from government colonisation, religious entrapments, manipulation and antics, sinister habits, unwarranted situations. … and all the other freedoms we seek.
It is a common human struggle.
The fight for life is s fight for freedom
And if the above statement is anything to go by, then one can confidently assert that –
To Live is to be free.
Life is evolutionary, which means it advances from one level of complexity to the next. ( complexity is not necessarily complication). And the essence of living life will be to conquer every stage of complexity until we reach the desirable stage of delusion of freedom. Or good still, find a bench mark strategy to cope through the advancement.
Based on this, it will also be true to say that we attain different levels of freedom based on what stage of life we are in.
In other words, there is no total freedom.

What is experienced is a false and temporary sense of freedom, because soon after, we are beleaguered with new and more complex constraints. And another freedom need arises.
It is a circular motion, but this time not quite vicious one. It is simply nature that has sentenced the human race to a continuous fight for freedom.

So, life is really a continous fight for freedom…
Who then is truly free?

Epa Ijebu

2008-02-05T09:32:00.000+01:00

… This time not the ijebu antidote. But a brother who is an ERP consultant with an affinity for Epa Ijebu, so he was nicknamed after the mixture because he is an ardent believer in the gospel of the ijebu antidote, brother actually carried out an M.Sc research on it. As far as he is concerned, Epa Ijebu cures everything…even incurables. Every and all infirmities are curable using the antidote. I almost thought he was on the board of directors for Epa Ijebu manufacturing company. He is unarguably the greatest apostle of Epa Ijebu.
And the name is here to stay such that more people know him as Epa (short form) and it has now been modernised to be ‘Epsy’.

Epsy can somewhat be a comic relief. He has his style and ways of having his ways. We all have limitations, but the sad thing is a lot of us are lounging in the limitation. Epsy here is a craftily smart guy (unseemingly), he has been able to develop subtly aggressive and effective coping mechanism that allows him in most cases to achieve what he wants. His nature is truly funny and peculiar (common ground for everybody) One would wonder if he was from another planet. Point blank is, he is just one of those, people like to laugh at….well; not laugh in the real sense of jest. People just enjoy catching trips on him if u get what I mean.

Well he got married just over this weekend. The news of his wedding was a pleasant shock; We were happy that he was getting married and also wondering how fast it came.

Anyway, I was at the church wedding, and it was nice…very nice indeed. He is got a pretty wife too and I think they are just a perfect match.

I consider him with more respect now. For Christ's sake… he is married. It’s an End to the era of Epa ijebu and I hope every other person concerned will do the same and show some more respect.

Dude is the head of a home now.

Congrats bro!

You.

2008-02-04T11:53:00.001+01:00

What is rocking my boat?
...I am almost scared shitless.

''There is no Fear in Love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. Because he who fears has not been made perfect in Love - 1 John 4:18.

My heart fails at the perceived storm in my boat.
I will be glad if my perceptions elude reality.

Is there a why? And will you tell me why?

Don't u rock my boat... cus i don't want my boat to be rocked.
You are the balance in my boat.

Work...Side attraction...nothing.

2008-01-31T12:52:00.001+01:00

Amidst the heavy workload, tight timelines within working hours and the threat of my account being debited with 20k if i miss my deadline; I am tired of the blue screen, data, documentation and all the job gibberish in front of me. I want sumthing on a lighter note, and the easiest and discrete way is an escape to blogville; at least my hands are busy on my machine.

I have a few side attractions in my office, but that seem not to be adequate to get my mind off work for this shortwhile. It's not like i am being lazy, though that's my pass time or restless....
I just like to get a li'l excitement every now and then.

I am sure by now, it is obvious that i don't quite have anything to blog about. I am just hoping that while typing, sumthing will come up in my mind and i will follow a direction... but guess what?

I am still as blank as a Photocopying paper.

I enjoy my work for a few things -
the academic nature of it; paradoxically, also what i dislike most about it.
I can be in my jeans on a monday morning; even at a client site (i hope my boss doesn't read this).

Going back to Office side attractions, one of mine is a guy in my office.
This guy is far from being clowny, but he just manages to amuse me somehow. Usually don't sit faraway from him partly cus we work together in the same unit and his interesting appearance.

He frowns most of the time, i initially thought he was a permanently upset person. To be fair on him, he is good looking even with his nose in the air.

He talks fast, one would almost think he is under pressure.

His sarcasm is one of a kind, not encouraging at all. I once thought he was very self pre-occuppied.

There are 2 flip sides to him (on the job) - Very Non chalant (i no send type) and very responsible. You just never know with him.

But in the midst of all that is a God fearing and Consistent Person. He's got a lovely smile too, if only he will smile more often.

What about you...Any office side attraction?

The burden of the Black Continent

2008-01-29T09:17:00.000+01:00

I watched and listened to the news last night. A preview of the war between the opposition parties in Kenya inspired me to write this. . ..

When will all this violence stop?
I ask myself at the breaking of the news.
Brothers against brothers
Blood against blood
Flesh against Flesh
I see a brother being matcheted by his countrymen
A woman, defiled in the presence of her own
Fear and Terror Looms at every corner
Dread in the city, Shock in the hamlet
Hatred and resentment is replicated in genes

For what cause, I wonder?
Political, religious….
What just cause will birth such injustice on humanity?

A Race so blessed and yet so cursed
The Cross of the my Africa
How costly are your blessings?
Oil for Blood
Diamonds for Blood
Power for Blood
Are your blessings blood thirsty?
Or is it the womb that brings forth?
Or is it the People?
Or nature has endowed you…
What there is?

The land is green and yet immersed in blood
Organic manure is it for the richness?
One man axes his brother to death
On Greenland
Another on the other side gives surgical treatment
To her serpent; who swallowed
Tiger Woods’ egg
Yes! It was on Skynews.
What absurdity and conflict of Value.

I know what is stronger than blood.
It is conviction.
What drives the African Conviction
That overrides every good sense of judgement
And brotherhood
Is it greeeeeeeeeeeeeeedd?!
Green Greed.
The African Greed;
Fresh as its vegetation.

I tire o!
Will Change ever come?

I feel Loved

2008-01-29T08:47:00.000+01:00

To say I am not excited will be lying; I am excited and even that is an understatement. I am excitingly elated. I feel joy, hope mixed with feelings of enthusiasm. I feel like something is rumbling and wants to burst out within me…
It’s almost like an overflow, an outburst of joy, optimism and eagerness.

Anyway, bottom line is I’m happy. Not because I have earned an extra kobo or a better working condition, or a sweet gesture from O. I am happy because I am rediscovering the essence of life, the importance of time and the validity of the moment.

I am rediscovering God’s Love for me and it is not a spur of the moment

Silence is Golden

2008-01-24T16:38:00.000+01:00

In view of the latest scandal on the news... (Gbenga and Moji thing), i can only but wonder If silence is truly Golden.
And if it's not always Golden, then when do we draw the line by speaking up?

It's unscriptable for me so i will not write about the whole 'low down dirty shame'
besides it's everywhere; so there is no point 'centplicating' (we are allowed to invent our words - that's why it's blogging).

Anyway, i do hope it's just another media sensation.

ciao!

Sex in the City

2008-01-21T16:47:00.000+01:00

I recently had this discussion with my dear friend, It was an explicitly interestingly and sincerely candid discussion on one of the most popular topics in the world – SEX! I have been wanting to blog this for a while.. but i just kept forgetting. Anyway, that discussion inspired me to write today's post
Maybe someday i will blog that discussion (don't have balls yet).

We hear abstinence a few times but we hear, see and even feel sex all the time. It's everywhere on Tv screen, on the streets and on the radio. Usually a silent message of sex in almost every advert. slogans, images and all.
"We are better in bed"..remember that one?
Explicit lyrics on the radio,.... and don't we all just love that censored version of Akon's song? uhMM! i like it.
Really 'sexually agravating' (pardon my phrase) music videos and images on TV
Seductive clothings are in.. if u want to be noticed, u better reveal a good amount of 'vital parts'.

Bottom line is Sex sells! In the corporate world and under the street lights..anywhere.

The question now is - How do we survive the shadows of sex ..oops! sorry, i mean the image of sex trying to infilterate our minds and chasing us around. The only places that offer little protecgtion are the religious sanctuaries.. even that there, you are not completely shielded.
Your thoughts are there with you, That part of your mind that has a mind of it's own may start to take over. Inspite of the holy atmosphere, those unholy thoughts can start creeping up on u. You want to concentrate on the ongoing activities, but the thoughts and desires are much stronger and the truth is u really do want to indulge.

What do people do with their sex drive?
I am of the opinion that our environment has contributed immensely to the 'average societal libido' . It is sky rocketing and it will not take a nose-dive... upward ever and downward never. People want more - more sex, sexual partners, variations, increased pleasure ..and different sexual tendencies are surfacing and are being accepted and inculcated into the 'societal sexual behaviour'.

Meeeen, It's hard to stay sane in this very sexual world. Let's even leave all the externals and its bye products aside and consider the internal. That Natural Sexual instinct that is God given.
How do we manage it before it overflows it's bank due to the pressure around us.

It's a common struggle; i am looking for an anwer.

Truthfully, the energy that drives those sexual desires is so..strong.

Charity begins at home II

2008-01-18T09:00:00.001+01:00

You know what i saw on TV last night? It was on LTV 8, and u know that they will report anything on lagos state. if possible, they will tell u how fashola (due respect sir!) is skipping his meals and having sleepless nights in a bid to find a solution to the absence of street lights on roads around the lagos state secrtetariat.
Anyway, i saw the min of education and min of health collaborating to ensure that -

the public school pupils know their heights and weights;
to sensitise them about the importance of eating protein..
and of course the very popular one - free eye tests and eye glasses.

I mean, it was a major project o, probably would have cost a few million bucks and it was aired on TV. (ha..ha..ha)

It's almost becoming obvious that these people don't want to take the bull by the horn in order to address the inadequacies of the public schools. I can't understand the impact of that 'thing' on TV when there are no laboratories, no books in the libraries, teachers are not regularly paid, the school buildings are dilapidated, no toilet facilities, no desks and bench, ... nothing...nothing at all!

What is the point of the glasses when they won't be needing it, haba.. no books to read now and no teacher to write on the board! You can't want to buy man a perfume when his stomach is on fire due to lack of food. There are more fundamental problems that should be focused on; Let's not decorate the outside while neglecting the inside, it's deception.

Remember the cliche 'jiggi - bola' (bola's eye glasses) - the free eye glasses' project that was embarked upon by the former state gov? Well, this is probably an extension and it will be named 'jiggi - fashola'. Oops! sorry, i mean 'jiggi - sosan'. Our honourable Dep Gov and also commissioner for education.

Charity begins at home

2008-01-17T14:53:00.000+01:00

On the issue of the Lagos state government closing down ‘semi’ private schools - inadequately furnished private schools, like school in a shop, without conveniences …basically improper schools. They are not hard to find, u only need to walk down the junction. Anyway, if Mrs Deputy Governor is taking it upon herself to close down all of these inadequately equipped private schools in Lagos, should she also not take it upon herself to ensure that the government (public) schools within her domain are adequately catered for?

However one chooses to look at it, these semi- private are better than a lot of the public schools in Lagos state. At least they do not go on strike. 3months is 3months per term, lessons are delivered on time, at least the teachers are around (the question of competency of tutors is another issue).. But at least these kids get taught.

Madam deputy Gov, what alternative have u provided for these kids to learn? Are u giving some kind of subsidy on equipment in these schools or are u ensuring that Lagos state public schools are conducive for learning and are better than these ‘private schools’ in terms of facilities???

Log in ur eyes, spec in the other man's!

When getting married becomes a competition

2008-01-10T17:29:00.000+01:00

Going forward about my latest pressure, i think there is something silently competitive about getting married! (uuhm...i mean that statement!)

Well, it's not something that just falls on one like that; You actually do grow into it...we metamophosise into it (hope i'm correct). This is how it starts -

Fresh from school and enthusiastic about choosing a lucrative and enjoyable career path, so u get this nice and well paying job..and u spend most of ur time acquiring professional skills and experience on the job so you can move up the ladder. Meanwhile, all thru this period, a few of ur friends are getting married and u wonder why in christ's name are they rushing. You say 'why rush into a marriage u'll spend the rest of ur life in". And of course a lot of these young men and ladies are really young like early 20s, It actually would make better sense if they take some time out to pursue a career instead of jumpin to the alter.

Anyway, let's leave that at that. After a while You end up ur relationship because ur partner nags u too much..or u even meet a more promising dude/chic on the job front...And then, just like that u suddenly realise that ur skills are getting obsolete, u need to increase ur knowledge base and be able to compete globally. So, u take a 2 yr study leave abroad. It's fun,u r getting more refined and exposed. You know better and u've seen more than ur previous contemporaries.

24 months gone, u've finally bagged that hot certificate from the white man's land and landed one very high profile job in motherland. Now u have started to consider the idea of settling down only to discover that it seems all the marriageable men and women have been married away...and all around you are really vicious humans looking for whom to devour. Unfortunately, the pressure is mounting both within and without - 'ur biological clock is ticking away', relatives not helping matters and to now make matters worse, your most NFA (No Future Ambition) friend has sent u an invitation to his wedding. Now u are getting worked up; but u tell urself u won't give in to the pressure.

Luckily for u, there are a few of ur newly acquired friends who are in this league, so u are not alone....You don't quite see what is special in those that are married; ur life is fun and fulfilling just the way it is....But in ur heart, u are determined to say i do before any of them.

And then somewhere somehow one of ur unmarried friends starts to hint that he/she will have u be their best mate for their wedding.
....This is just the height of it. 'Have i been confined to a life of singleness and solitude'.. you ask urself.

The answer is this - It's not a time to give up; one of ur exes back in the days from 'modakeke' grammar school may just still be single and guess what? ur mama won't just sit down there and watch u age graceful into permanent singlehood. She's making huge plans to redeem u - Mama Iyabo's daughter is coming to Lagos from kafanchan.

Good luck!

Today..so far

2008-01-09T13:12:00.000+01:00

Today I set out on a more serious note with a to-do list; I want to measure my productivity per day based on what is on my list. It does just make u appear really serious and focus, even though what u have on it can be stuff like
- Check my mail/respond to mails
- Chat on yahoo msngr
- Check on my facebook
- Go around crack some jokes for a li’l while
- Have lunch
- The Loo pls (after a heavy lunch of fufu and okro)
- Attend to that guy or girl whom u have invited to see u in the office
- Pack ur bags
- Go to the gym; u need to burn off some calories
- 2 -3hrs at swe bar, cubes or any of those to avoid the traffic on the island to ejigbo.

If u can finish ur day and achieve all u have set out to do, then it’s really been a fruitful day.

Anyway, I set out with more serious stuff on my to-do list like finish up my documentation, meet with my boss on appraisal issues, assist my colleague with his data upload, of course update my blog (yes! during office hours) and so on.... I am not halfway thru with achieving what i have on my list for the day due to some technical fault…. (which I’m kinda happy about). That time allows me to do some of those things listed above.

My point is this, in the course of all this seriousness, the issue of getting married just keeps popping up. Marriage is in the air at this period in my office. Every Tunde, Emeka and Musa seem to be getting married. Invitation cards flying about everywhere. Eligible or not as long as u’ve got the balls for the alter…we’ll survive the odds. And anywhere I turn, the question is when r u getting married?
It’s almost making my head explode, abi getting married na competition???

...gat to run back to work.

U can't be serious

2008-01-08T11:29:00.000+01:00

Welcome to 2008!

I'll try not to cross the lawn on ajose adeogun to get into my office

I promise to wake up and get up in the morning at the 1st sound of my alarm

I will make sure i take more natural water as fluid instead of other liquids

...... loads of them.

I've broken about all except the 1st one, well it's only just the 2nd wk of the new year. Time will tell. The really funny part of makin resolutions for the new year is that somewhere in ur heart, u are afraid because u don't trust urself well enough to be able to stick to those rules. There is an evil day, where u will break each of them one by one. but u just don't know when that will be; but it will surely come.

Ayo, broke one of his new year resolutions an hour and half into the new year. He had convincingly and soberly promised himself to stay off 'sugared' drinks in the new year. But 90 minutes of surpressing the urge to have a coke was a real war; and of course he gave in just like so many of us. And that marks the beginning of 'wo (look), let me just do it jare'.

But above all those little restrictions that we put around ourselves, we should not loose those things that make up our unique self. Live life with fun and enthusiasm, don't be civil all the time, argue a few times, shout if u feel like, laugh aloud, enjoy jokes, watch and listen less to less news....

Just live on the brighter side of life.

virtue - decline, extinction - my musing

2007-10-16T13:52:00.000+01:00

" virtue is on the decline and heading towards extinction."
This is a statement from a young and upwardly mobile gentleman that i know.
And this really got me thinking...
What is virtue? Is it a relative term? And is it really on the decline?

This statement automatically spurned me into self examination and i immediately began to feel uneasy and the resultant sub-conscious attitude was self-defense. Though i still went down the path of self analysis, compared the good-old -days with high moral standards and the Sweet-mordern-day with decaying moral standards and i thought to myself that virtue would definitely have a different meaning from those 'good-old-days' considering what is obtainable now. And so, if virtue is NOT what i think it is...then maybe i ain't doing too bad.

Since i was uncertain about the meaning of that word "Virtue", i decided to do my research. The first thing that came to mind is the bible verse that talks about the virtuous woman - then i began to wonder, is virtue a feminine quality? Is it more vital for a woman than for a man?

Virtue is from a latin word called Virtus and based on it's origin, it signifies manliness or courage. Virtue as it is now known depicts moral excellence of a person. It is a trait valued as being good. The opposite of which is 'vice'.
BroadESTly speaking, virtue means the excellence of perfection of a thing, (just imagine those 2 words side by side - excellence and perfection, they make virtue sound almost unattainable). And in its strictest meaning, however, as we all understand it, virtue is good habit, essentially moral excellence, chastity.

Going further, the meaning and essence of virtue will be weakly denoted if reference is not made to the bible verse -Proverbs 31:10. That scripture is pregnant with meaning, that's a whole text book in less than 10 lines.

Virtue is more than high moral standards. It is resourcefulness, proactiveness, creativity, aesthetics, doggedness, strenght, courage...just name it. Virtue is all.
And if the good book particularly associates it with women, then maybe it is more valuable to us.

The standard for right and wrong is not a cultural thing, therefore it is not location specific. What is right is predominantly right and so is what is wrong, this probably informed the saying "call a spade a spade". Infidelity, wastefulness are as bad in Africa as they are in Asia or any other part of the world. And if it's so, i can then conclude that Virtue is not a relative term.

About it being on the decline? I need to ask the menfolk.

Mosi-oa-tunya

2007-07-10T16:47:00.000+01:00

I have been out for too long, but i must say that it's good to be back. I had been out for almost half year, not like there was nothing to write about but i needed to find passion again.

It's a nice thing that blogging is gaining recognition in Nigeria to the extent that a well known mag had a whole section on a number of female bloggers in Nigeria. I almost feel like i've missed out o a whole lot.

My 'break' was eventful; a whole lot to blog about whenever i run out of ideas. The whole period was like a begining and a getting used to a new phase in my life - new work environment, job description, challenges and all. Anyway, i met a 'wonderful' set of people from Zimbabwe as part of the then new work environment; and now, Zimbabwe has joined my list of

must-visit countries. And one Particularly fascinating thing is the great Victoria falls or Mosi-oa-Tunya (The smoke that thunders).
Victoria falls are by some measures, the largest waterfall in the world, and can also be said to be among the most unusual in form, and having arguably the most diverse and easily-seen wildlife of any major waterfall site. Some people say that this Victoria falls have an hallucinating effect on tourists. One tend to see other things (imaginary) that ordinarily don't exist there. This may be due to its unusual form which enables virtually the whole width of the falls to be viewed face-on, at the same level as the top, from a close range.

Many of Africa's animals and birds can be seen in the immediate vicinity of Victoria Falls, and the continent's range of river fish is also well represented, enabling wildlife viewing and sport fishing to be combined with sightseeing. The falls are shared between Zam bia and Zimbabwe, and each country has a national park to protect them and a town serving as a tourism centre: Mosi-oa-Tunya National Park and Livingstone in Zambia, and Victoria Falls National Park and the town of Victoria Falls in Zimbabwe.

Antelopes can be seen in these areas and troops of nonchalant baboons patrol the walkways. Airborne droplets of fine mist creates an almost a constant rainbow, which can even be seen by the light of the moon.The Victoria Falls are shared by both Zambia and Zimbabwe and is territorially divided by Cecil Rhodes' famous bridge - which he never lived to see.
As well as a spectacular view down into the gorge, this bridge has more recently become famous for its adrenaline-pumping bungy jump with a fall of 364 feet (111 meters)! The other most popular adventure pursuit here is white-water rafting on the Zambezi.
The park contains some big game such as elephants, buffalo, lions, giraffe and antelopes like kudu and waterbuck, along with plenty of hippos and crocs.
Riverine bird life is plentiful with egrets, herons, cormorants, fish eagles and kingfishers.The Zambezi is renowned for its tigerfish, tilapia and giant vundu (catfish) over 6 ft long.

It is the widest curtain of falling water in the world, and during the warm wet months of February to April, it cascades at over thirty times its dry season flow. The resulting spray can be seen from 20 miles (32kms) away and explains the local African name for the falls - Mosi-oa-tunya ‘Smoke that Thunders’

There are few appropriate superlatives that have not already been applied to this magnificent natural wonder of the world; in many ways it defies description.

I am marvelled at this wonderful work of creation.

Untitled

2007-02-07T08:34:00.000+01:00

I don't know what to write about and that's why this blog has not been updated. It almost looks like i am out of ideas; every attempt to ponder upon a topic or to see through instances and happenings around me is stopped short by a block;. Almost like i can't think straight and no reserve to pull from.
I try to avoid writing wholly on my personal issues; but i guess i am gonna have to go in that direction. Blogging about personal stuff makes me feel like i am exposing myself to global scrutiny and criticism. Especially when there might be someone who will be able to decode exactly what you are talking abt even to the real characters involved.But really i think i should divulge some stuff.
I am experiencing a stablility issue or let me say my present wavery state (in my thinking) and somehow that might have reflected in my recent previous write-ups. I beleive that alot if not all challenges or issues that i experience stems from a spiritual hitch. Right now, i'm not getting spooky. I mean my relationship- with my creator - God almighty and not some diabolic stuff.
Right now, i feel like I am on earth and God is in Jupiter; i just can't connect. And this is translating into my conscious experience.
I feel some form of no essence to my actiivities. I just don't get it; I don't derive satisfaction from anything really almost like i live each day as it comes without expectation.
The funny thing is i know what i need to do to get back on track but somehow i am confused and don't trust my ability to do what i need to do to get thru this.
This is obviously not a starting point. It just may be.

"Work and Money"

2007-01-26T11:39:00.000+01:00

"Work for the money, the love will come after". This is a statement in a book on career management. It is not a general fundamental truth, though it is extensively true. People often work, want to work, change jobs basically for the financial reward. A lot is written about this in the "unemployment and unskilled labour" post.
However, people take up jobs for several reasons depending on the pyramid/hierachy of needs (Abraham Maslow) - Physiological, Safety, Sense of belonging, esteem, Self actualization. The lowest of the need is physiological, that is the basic need of food, air,shelter and clothing. And the highest is Self actualization.Looking at it from this angle, one can say that human needs vary based on social status. Someone can take up a job in order to have a sense of purpose and a sense of integration (self actualization). One will think that the basic physiological needs would have been satisfied before one can desire self actualization (i mean, why would someone want to strive to be the best he can without 1st being able to satisfy his lowest needs?). Perhaps, that is possible if the burden of meeting the primary needs is not directly borne by that individual.
People can also take up jobs to have a sense of belonging, feel a sense of identity and boost their morale. More often than not, a person without a job can develop an esteem problem regardless of status.

One cannot ignore the fact that money can determine what job we choose or even override the intent to do a job we really desire. Earlier today, a friend shared his experience (career wise) with me. He wanted a core IT job, but he was offered something in IT but not his actual desire. Anyway, it was difficuilt for him to reject the job because the pay was higher than he expected to earn even with his desired job. So he took up the job with the hope of resigning after a few months. Guess what? His salary was doubled after about 4 months and it became even harder and almost impossible to leave the job. Months ran into years and he still could not resign. Fortunately though, after a few years he started to do the type of IT job he wanted. He is beginning to get fulfilled on his job and the financial reward is not bad either.

Does that mean it is possible for one to start out on the tangent and still be able to get back in line? Well yeah, i guess. But one fact still remains which is - basic needs have got to be satisfied before other abstract needs can be satisfied. However, if one can, it's better to start up with what you really want and continue in it even if the pay is meagre(which is temporal). It's a learning process.

Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder

2007-01-18T09:59:00.000+01:00

Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” – This means beauty is how you see it. That is, there are varying standards for beauty and what is acceptable to one person as being beautiful might be unacceptable to another. We’ve seen enough of that in the previous post.
Beauty being in the eye of the beholder is a matter of differences in taste. I will define it as an attempt to dismiss the disagreement in the differences in our tastes and preferences

On the other hand, looking at it critically, Is there really no standard for beauty and ugliness? Do we not want others to be agreeable of our judgment of beauty?
.
Each individual has got peculiar preferences and tastes but they are based upon one ideal and are only modifications of this. This means that there is a standard from which everyone generates their standards from.
The judgment for beauty is clearly an emotional issue and that is why the argument usually ends up with the maxim – “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. If beauty is as subjective as we all perceive it to be, then the question is – Is there anything as beauty and if there is, what is beauty?
Can one call something beautiful, if he pleases merely himself alone?

Many things may have charm, attraction and agreeableness to a person, but should it be called beautiful if it pleases him alone? If it’s called beautiful, then one must expect the same satisfaction from others.

Is beauty skin deep?

2007-01-12T17:36:00.000+01:00

I'm not too sure if this title is appropriate for this article. I think it's a bit of an over statement for the content but i just don't seem to want to bother my head for a more appropriate heading.

Some People say Beauty is inward, some others think it is outward and another think it is both outward and inward.
Whatever school of thought you belong to, beauty is what you say it is. But really, can beauty be only inward?
I saw a documentary titled "Is beauty skin deep?" and remember hearing something that sounds like this - "beauty is largely physical (outward) though a good personality can compliment the physical beauty. Beauty as our environment recognises it, is largely physical. An outwardly beautiful person will get more attention and have more opportunities than an otherwise looking person. In the Fashion and entertainment world (which are mega businesses), Nobody really cares if your character stinks so long as you have the look for the industry. Though an inwardly beautiful person may also be seen and appreciated, perhaps only when time is taken to know the personality behind the looks".
I think Everyone is beautiful in their own ways, though it might be concealed by 1 or 2 things. No one has it all together. We have more beauty than we can imagine; we only need to harness those qualities that make us stand out.

Have a great weekend.

Unemployment and unskilled labour.

2007-01-11T16:33:00.000+01:00

Not that jobs are not available; based on my observations, unemployment persists for two reasons:

Shortage of skilled and experienced professionals
A large percentage of unskilled people in the labour force.

Are there really no jobs or no people to fill them? What do you think?
There are lot of job openings but no manpower to fill them.The unemployed man might be educated but is he specialised? There is shortage of specialised manpower in the labour force. People move from one field of interest to the other every now and then majorly for increase in financial rewards and don't bother much about focusing on a particular field and sharpening their skills in that field.There are a lot of openings out there for experienced and specialised professionals; infact finding that kinda manpower is difficult.
I work in an HR firm and i've seen this trend. We have stacks and a huge online database of entry level and unprofessional resumes. Getting a trainee position has become really competitive because there are too many people out there who know bits and pieces of a lot (which eventually amounts to nothing) and nothing of anything.
Getting specialised and gaining experience might not have any immediate gratification but the reward is inevitable and long term. While a job hopper moves from one job to the other in varying fields (and loosing time) for monetary reward, the one who wants to get skilled focuses on his field of interest in an environment that allows for learning, development and adds relevent experiential value not particularly making financial reward a prime yardstick.
The opportunities for a skilled and experienced professional is limitless. He has a variety of offers to choose from because he is in high demand.
Bottomline is, if you want to leave the league of the unemployed and job seekers, get specialised. Focus on a field you are interested in and make yourself relevant in that field. Eventually, you will be the one declining mouth watery job offers for even much more mouth watery ones.

Bye.

Loosing Gracefully

2007-01-10T11:55:00.000+01:00

While growing up, we were taught a lot by our teachers, parents, friends and other family members but somehow, the art of loosing gracefully was left out. Maybe because our teachers also didn't know how to loose and let go gracefully.

I know being at the loosing end is painful and difficult especially in a society where somehow subconsciously we have imbibed the "do or die" attitude. (I am not calling this attitude bad).

We hold on to stuff that we should let go because of the fear of the unknown. we wonder how life will be without the baggage. We just find it almost impossible to make that choice of letting go.

There are at times when it's so crystal clear that your partner wants out and there's no reversing it; you and i know when it's really over but we just won’t let go.

The loss of a relationship can be incredibly hard - you can feel so much pain. There's not only the grief from losing someone important in your life, but the pain of seeing your hopes and dreams of a future life together disappear as well. Sometimes this is the hardest part - having to totally readjust your view of how you saw your life unfolding in the next 5 to 10 years. Suddenly, you can't see into the future and it's scary.

The fear of starting over, Difficulty in trusting again, one might even develop an identity crisis.
All these fears keep us from bowing out of a lost battle; we still want to hang in there and hope something can be done while enduring undignifying heart wrenching hurts and pains. This form of ‘needy and clingy’ attitude but sometimes, we just think it's a hopeless situation.

Sometimes letting go just happens after you've let yourself grieve and rage and whatever else you need to do. Other times, people have to deliberately and consciously focus on letting go. It is tempting to hold on, and scary to let go. Saying to yourself that you are letting go of your ex-partner can be helpful. Interrupting yourself when you get stuck thinking or talking about her/him and redirecting your focus onto something else is all part of letting go.

Filling your life with activities that you enjoy - creative, playful, sociable, soulful activities - are all ways to nurture yourself back to health.

One can loose with respect, dignity and self esteem intact- that is loosing gracefully. Accept it's over and it's not within your control and move on. Don't sit down there whining and being a pest. Move on!

Being able to loose gracefully touches all areas of existence; cus faceit, life is a battle and winning is not guaranteed all the time.

You don't have to be the one to have the last say in an argument, you don't always have to justify your actions. Learn to accept your faults and mistakes and look for ways to make up for them.

It's difficult to do; but we'll be stronger and better for it.

Cheers!

2007 - Watch out!

2007-01-08T16:17:00.000+01:00

Hey Folks! Welcome to a great 2007.
I am extremely enthusiastic about this year, i just know that it's going to be like no other. I am happy that 2006 is over; it's a closed chapter. All the wrong choices and mistakes of 2006 are gone. I have a clean slate, I will set a good premise for the year and i'll build on it good choices and actions. I will not compromise on right standards.
I see my 2007 filled with surprises so long as i do my own part. I'm about to experience a year i've never experienced in my life on earth. This year is filled with goodies if you can harness it.
Congratulations! we made it.

Ref: Previous Post

2006-12-21T17:23:00.000+01:00

I got a comment on my last post from an anonymous (Didn't publish it though); One of the points of the comment is that it's indecent (or something Like that) and unclassy to use the word 'dump' for a guy and it's as disrespectful as the word 'bitch'.
Maybe this anonymous took my statement "Dump him like a piece of trash if he treats you like one" out of context. Perhaps, he (undoubtedly a guy) didn't pause to look at this statement from the 'If' clause and must have read the beginning clause in isolation. I kinda like the criticism outside of the direct attack nature of it; Though i sense that maybe the word 'dump' triggers some emotion in this person. But for crying out loud a great number of people have been dumped; even the best of men have been rejected for whatever reason -justifiable or otherwise.
Maybe the article is on the offensive to the male gender OR is it an ego thing? Well, can't tell yet, i've got just this one comment from just this one anonymous.
cheers!

To my Ladies

2006-12-20T16:36:00.000+01:00

This is from my heart to all the ladies.
You are more valuable than you think or can imagine. Don't let the mistakes and experiences of your past determine your choices now and in the future. You are not who that guy says you are (good or bad), you are more than that. Carry yourself with pride and value. Please don't dwell on the past "stupidities"...you can rise above them.
You may think you've given too much to that relationship and you can't let go though he treats you a little more than trash. Talk to yourself, you are stronger than you think. You will thrive well without letting someone destroy the rose in you.
Think about it, you may not even end up with him..so why let him rub you off your value. Forget about the sexual intimacies, You are still valuable in every way (don't be fooled). Don't let someone rub you off your value because he has seen you just the way you are. You can still treasure yourself.
Girl, Dump him like a piece of trash if he makes you feel like one. He doesn't deserve any better treatment. Move on, Do things that make you happy, use that energy for somethingmore productive. And for God sake, there is atleast a guy out there who will appreciate and nurture you.
Have a merry Xmas.

Grey Areas

2006-12-20T02:30:00.000+01:00

Yesterday, getting home from the office was quite difficult, waited a while at the bus stop and finally had to go and join a friend at their office end of year party. While there, i made some obvious observations that informed my writing this article. Giving the details of the drama will definitely take a lot of space but i saw how certain factors can make one lose inhibitions and expose the frequently hidden side of ones personality.
In a man's strengths are also his weaknesses. Most times, people present to others the side of their personalty they want to be seen. Usually the noble side - selfless, loyal, responsible...everything positive and powerful (by what standards though?). But beneath that is a negative that is inversely proportional to that positive. When i see people, i most often focus on the bright side...because that's what they illuminate but somewhere along the line and in obscurity is some form of darkness. For example -
Someone who is always cheerful, pleasant and eager to help most often might be concealing a lot of hidden aggression, resentment, anger and this will often come out subtly in form of actions that are passively aggressive and sabotaging. In the same vein, an aggressive, dominant attitude is most often disguising a shy qand timid attitude. A strong preaching against sexual immoralities might be a pointer to an underlying sexual issues.
obvious case can be found on the campus fellowships - sisters who are advocates for no make-up, earings, trousers most times end up being the ones who wear them more when out of campus.
Situations reveal the darkside in us, especially money (sudden acquisition without character) can wreck the seemingly most dignified fellow. Body language and Alcohol can offer also a sneak preview to the covered unpleasants.
Ciao!

"Aristo" Syndrome

2006-12-18T16:51:00.000+01:00

If you live in Nigeria or a citizen of this country then the heading will not sound strange to you.
I beleive the aristo word was coined from the word "aristocracy" meaning (in this context) - A group or class considered superior to others.
This phrase in our own language describes the relationship between young schoool girls and older men,usually married men.Reason i think is the beleif that they are richer than most single men and can afford to take care of their needs.Just recently, i found out another reason for the preference among young girls - which is that these married men treat them with respect and appreciation (Funny).This trend is on the rise and a lot of ladies now are begining to insist on older men; i got this impression from an article i read in this month's edition of True Love Magazine. I Could see the desire in the writer's points; She made it sound so attractive.
The arsto thingy is actually a symbiotic relationship (remember symbiosis: ur secondary schl biology) Let me brsh u up a li'l bit.
Symbiosis is a term that describes a stable and reciprocally profitable association between two different living organisms.Symbiosis can bring together two very different organisms:
1) two animals. For example, oxbirds ride the backs of African Cape buffalo eating the buffalo’s parasites: the bird gets a free meal; the buffalo gets rid of annoying insects) ;
2) a plant and a fungus. For example, a lichen is a convenient union between an alga and a fungus ;
3) an animal and a plant. For example, bees transport pollen from plant to plant when they search the plants for nectar: bees nourish themselves on the nectar; the plants reproduce after fertilisation by the pollen from other plants ;
4) a bacteria and an animal (for example, the bacteria present in the digestive tracts of herbivores) or a bacteria and a plant, among many other combinations.
And of course the 5th one which is relevant to this topic is The concept of symbiosis thatextends to the relationships between human (young girls and Older men).
I understand that ladies date older and often married men primarily because of Money and what it can get and they in turn give companionship (Sexual gratification and 'maybe' emotional comfort). Any single girl that is relatively comfortable (car, designer clothes,shoes & bags, jewelleries and all the works) is regarded as an "Aristo Chic"
One possible reason for the increase in the aristo trend can be traced to the so-called decline in the availability of single guys; they say the ratio of women to men is 1:4. Meaning that for every guy out there (Good, bad and ugly) there are at least 4 girls dying to have him (is this true?). This scarcity might have resulted into settling for the married ones, of course this depends on the motive.
People who do this, especially the ladies don't easily admit to it. Perhaps, because of it's mora implications.
I'm not writing for or against this trend, i'm not looking at it from the moral point of view; this is clearly a description of a trend in our society.

Why are you here?

2006-12-14T18:18:00.000+01:00

just last week, my boss asked us this fundamental question- Why are we here?
Uuhm! and i really could not give a totally honest reply.., not like i couldn't give an immediate one. But i knew it was not a question to be answered in a hurry.
Why am i here? This question encapsulates a lot of other questions we ask ourselves in deep thought.
Affter Taking some time, i was able to come up with my own answer. It is ambigous because it's only a summary of why i am here. Perhaps i'll take them one by one in my subsequent postings.
I am here To Live, To Love and To Learn.
Why are you here?
Please share with me and others on the reason why you are here.

To-Do-List Variation

2006-12-11T13:04:00.000+01:00

Does having a To-Do-List (in the office) really help us work faster, better and effectively?
Writing a TDL reminds me of the routinous nature of work; It has a robotic feel for me, like a program to control my activities; especially when you have to put a time frame to it.
When it comes to working (office)...,i think commitment is what determines your efficiency and effectiveness. Certainly not a monitoring tool like a To-Do-List.

Christmas

2006-12-08T15:13:00.000+01:00

Christmas is regarded as a high point in most countries of the world. Why? Does it have real meaning to us today?
Since about 400 AD, Christians have celebrated the birth of Jesus.
Today, the real meaning of Christmas is almost forgotten. It has become a non-religious holiday! More children believe in Father Christmas than in Jesus and Christmas Day has become a day of just eating and drinking alone.

The real Christmas story can be found in the bible in the Christian Bible. It is told in two different books: Matthew and Luke chapters 1 and 2. In case you don't have a bible, you can read online.

From November onwards, it is impossible to forget that Christmas is coming. Christmas decorations fill many shops, offices, homes and roads. Shopping centres become busier as December approaches and often stay open till late. It is a period where shopping is high. People buy more gifts, clothings. shoes, foods and all to celebrate the season. On every street corner, Christmas carol - the traditional Christmas Christian songs, and in some countries, groups of people will often sing carols on the streets to raise money for charity.

The bottomline is that we should not forget the reason for the season. Don't get all caught up in the celebration and forget your redeemer. If he was not born, perhaps there won't be xmas.

He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.
~Roy L. Smith

Independent Will - what is the real you?

2006-12-07T13:07:00.000+01:00

Independent will is the ability to keep the promises we make to ourselves and others. It is the ability to make decisions and choices and to act in accordance with those choices and decisions. The extent to which our independent will is developed is tested in our day-to-day lives in form of personal integrity. It is the ability to give meaning to our words and walk the walk. It is an integral part of how much value is placed on oneself.
Real discipline should come from within based on your own core values and also from where they are derived. To be an effective self manager, it is important to be able to surbordinate your feelings, impulses and moods to the values that you uphold.
I can imagine someone's asking "why the conflict...if i'm a follower of the independent will principle, then what is the justification for my previous post? That's the same question i'm asking myself.
Life is a learning process, I'm still working really hard on developing my own independent will.
The paradoxical nature just reflects the human nature - You know what is right and you just don't have enough integrity to do it. That's the story of a lot of us (don't even try to point fingers) Think about a lot of the actions you have taken and the decisions you have made.
What were the driving force behind those actions?
Perhaps you have your values written down , pasted visibly some where and even in your head, but do you really live by them?
How about the very little decisions we make on seemingly little and insignificant issues? What is our private life like?
....Because that's who we really are.

"Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street."

- Elbert Hubbard

What is my Problem?

2006-12-05T16:31:00.000+01:00

'tis a good day.
I've got some professional Exams tomorrow and i can't feel any form of agitation and anticipation. One gets this feeling most times when you are confident about your readiness for a test; but the case here is the opposite. I'm not quite ready, juggling work and study amongst other things have been herculous for me. It's not because i can't find the time to do them all but it seems like i can't settle down to do all that i should be doing. I was thinking before now if it's a priority thing or just a lack of interest for the examination; well maybe there's some lack of interest but for crying out loud i made the move of going to pay for the exams at the 11th hour. because i knew too well that i will be ready for my 2 papers in 7weeks or maybe i overrated my ability? Though i do not think so. Initially i didn't know why i'm not so prepared for my test; But now i know:
Read carefully and pls feel free to criticise my excuse.
Reason is this - Accountancy is not what i want for myself, i am more interested in HR but i think that having an ACCA qualification will make me more competitive in my field of interest.
One day, after brainstorming for a while about how i wanted to add immediate value to myself, i decided to go ahead and pay for 2 papers in level 2. But now it's like what i call Strategic Plans on Top Shelf. Like what a lot of us do. we take time to think, brainstorm, analyse, criticise and finally come up with a strong strategic plan, full of motivation and at the end of the day, they become materials for top shelfs. That means we end up not acting on them; they become stacks (you don't want to throw them away immediately for guilt sake). Like "New Year Resolution". We design and develop them but no execution.
Anyway, That's exactly what happened to me regarding this examination. Nevertheless, i will finish it and get certified.

Everyday People -

2006-12-04T13:35:00.000+01:00

I apologise for my absence. I still do not quite know what to write about but i'm just gonna start. It works better for me like that. I know one thing peculiar to everyone on this planet is that we meet and interact with people every now and then (Even if you are Incarcerated). Some of us have challeneges with managing the different kinds of people we meet every now and then; some look like they are heaven sent and some like thay are assigned from hell to make your life miserable- they just beat your imagination. I'm sure we've all fallen at one time into these 2 categories. You really want to know? Ask people around you- You just might not seem as nice as you think you are coming across.
Remember this story- "THE GOODY TWO SHOES"? (This phrase now refers to a self-righteous, smugly virtuous person).
It comes from the title of a rather twee and moralistic nursery tale called The History of Goody Two-Shoes, which was written by Oliver Goldsmith, and published in 1765. Goody owned only one shoe. When she was given a pair of them, she was so pleased that she showed them to everybody, saying “Two shoes”.

I am an advocate of "know a man before diagnosing his person".
People make erroneaous conclusions and form baseless reservations about others they barely know or even people we think we know well. We unconsciously make our experiences or do i say lack of one? a yardstick for measuring people's personalty. And then some of us even are quick to pass judgement and run other people down..Why do we 'bitch' about? Maybe it stems from a fundamental feeling of inadequacy that makes us feel that putting others down will make us feel better. The truth is - It is a reflection of what you really are (Think about it)
Human Beings are evolving through time? our perceptions, views and opinions are subject to change in the same way as we are subject to imperfections.
For the Self righteous, Smugly virteuos individual; Please take a minute to think before you run down other people around you. Remember the verse in the Good Book that says "Remove the log in your eyes before you see the specks in another's eyes"
Maybe that log just ain't making you see clearly.
Give a break!

A Moment of Thought

2006-11-03T13:52:00.000+01:00

A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, he found his three-year-old son happily hammering dents into the shiny truck surface. Without giving it a thought, he hammered the little boy's hand.

When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital. Although the doctor tried desperately to save his crushed bones, He finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands.

When the boy woke up from surgery, and saw his bandaged stubs,
he innocently said - "Daddy, I’m sorry about your truck".
Then he asked- “but when are my fingers going to grow back?"

The father went home and committed Suicide.

This short true story further illustrates the 90/10 principle (Read previous article). You might be saying the story sounds a little too extreme; But the truth is not being able to take control of your reaction can have a far more reaching fatal effect than this.

At times we say some actions are reflex or perhaps, there's no time for thinking before reacting. The truth is, you can consciously decide what your reaction will be. You can master the art such that you become conditioned to what i'll call a positive reaction (irrespective of the situation).

Think before you React.

The 90/10 Priniciple

2006-11-01T19:03:00.000+01:00

Author: Stephen Covey
Discover the 90/10 Principle.
It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations).
What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is
decided by how you react.
What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us.
We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which
throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic.
We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the
other 90%.
How? ……….By your reaction.
You cannot control a red light. but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool
you; YOU can control how you react.
Let's use an example.
You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee
onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened.
What happens next will be determined by how you react.
You curse.
You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in
tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup
too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs
and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy
crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus.
Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your
daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph
speed limit.
After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your
daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20
minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it
continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home.
When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse
and daughter.
Why? …. Because of how you reacted in the morning.
Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
The answer is “D".
You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5
seconds is what caused your bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened.
Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "Its ok
honey, you just need to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush
upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time
to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and
waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss
comments on how good the day you are having.
Notice the difference?
Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.
Why?
Because of how you REACTED.
You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was
determined by your reaction.
Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle. If someone says something
negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You
don't have to let the negative comment affect you!
React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a
friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.
How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound
on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off) Do you
curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them?
WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your
drive?
Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.
You are told you lost your job.
Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time
into finding another job.
The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take outpour
frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on.
Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It
will just make things worse.
Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results.
You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and
apply this principle.
The result?
Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and
heartache. We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle.
It CAN change your life!!!
Enjoy….

The GS Family

2006-10-20T17:42:00.000+01:00

A li'l Peep into HR 2

2006-10-16T08:54:00.000+01:00

Hope you had a good weekend? Mine was fun. Almost wished it wouldn't end.
I decided to continue on HR as i started last week. I considered posting something on a lighter note but i think that concluding subsequently will be better for easy comprehension.
In case you have not read the previous article, please do, as this is a continuation.

Capacity for Change:
HR puts in place a system that can manage change and transformation effectively. Transformation refers to a fundamental cultural change within an organization.
Change refers to the aboility to improve the design and implementation of initiatives within the firm and also to reduce the time cycle inherent in organizational activitites.
HR professionals are cultural guardians and catalysts and also help to identify processes for change.
HR does this by helping employees let go old and adapt to new cultures and helps the organization to identify the processes that can manage change.
HR professionals are change agents. They help make change happen, understand the critical processes for change, build commitment to those processes and ensure that change occurs as planned.

Employee Contribution:
This role is more than managing the day-to-day problems, concerns and needs of employees. It is imporatnt to note that the intellectual capital (manpower) is a critical source of a firms value i.e the people make up the firm.
HR performs the role of aggressively and actively developing the intellectual capital. This it does by helping employees to contribute through their competence to do good work and their commitment to working diligently. HR ensures that the employee contributions are linked to business success.
With active HR as employee champions that identifies and meets the needs of the employee; overall employee contribution will go up naturally.
HR personally spends time with the employees and train and encourage line managers to do the same.

All Possible HR roles are summarised under the above headings.
HR refers to HR professionals and Departments.

Hope you had a wonderful weekend. I had a good one.

A li'l Peep into HR 1

2006-10-13T10:28:00.000+01:00

I love HR and i'm currently reading a book titled the "Human Resource Champions" by Dave Ulrich.
I'll like to share a little from the book for the benefit of those who know nothing about the peofession, those who have a misconception about it.

HR has a multiple role model ranging from Operational (day-to-day) to strategic (long term), and the focus ranges from people to processes.

These roles are
1. Strategy execution
2. Administrative Efficiency
3. Capacity for change
4. Employee contribution.
These roles are can be termed deliverables of HR practices. That is, they are the outcomes of HR activities.

Strategy execution:
The strategic HR role focuses on aligning HR practices and strategy with the business practices and strategy in order to create a system that can achieve the organizational objectives. Here HR professionals increase the capacity of an organization to execute its strategies; They participate in the process of defining business strategies by asking questions that move strategy to action and by designing HR practices that are in allighment with the business strategy.
In any organization, strategies exist either explicitly or implicitly,HR professionals should be able to identify the practices that can make the strategy happen. The primary role here is to translate business strategies into HR practices.

Administrative Efficiency:
HR is the caretaker of the corporate infrastructure. HR ensures that efficient HR processes for Staffing, training, appraising, rewarding are designed and delivered.
HR professionals accomplish administrative efficiency in 2 ways:

a.Ensure efficiency in the HR processes
b.Hiring, Training and rewarding Managers who increase productivity and reduce waste.

By delivering administrative efficiency, HR plays the role of an administrative expert, mastering and pioneering re engineering refforts that foster HR and business processes by being able to cut out unnecessary costs, improve efficiency, and constatntly find ways to do things better.
Simply put, Administrative efficiency is the ability to accomplish more with less.

There is a general misconception that HR is a social/corporate therapy for employees, It is designed to provide oractices that amke employees more competeitive. Not anyone, even if you are a people person can do HR. HR is based on proven theories, principles, research and it is evolutionary in nature.

Life is a Gift

2006-10-12T18:15:00.000+01:00

Life is not earned, neither is it inherited. It is a temporary gift. Don't take it for granted, live it meaningfully. Every moment of every minute counts. Your action in a moment can affect a lifetime. Don't waste precious time, it is invaluable because it cannot be replaced.
Enjoy life because it's short, do things that make you happy and others too.
Your experiences to a large extent define your perspective to life; so see the humor side of life.
Life is precious and delicate; Handle with care.

Picture origin: http://www.istockphoto.com/imageindex/693/5/693561/cradle.html

Free Your Mind

2006-10-11T13:22:00.000+01:00

Thinking back, i remember i always wanted or felt i could do a lot of things that are meaningful and productive with my life. Thought having it altogether in a multi-faceted world was a piece of cake.
But lately, i noticed that i had made an unconscious choice of letting my life revolve around my work alone (which is pathetic). And this is not only peculiar to me but i think to a lot of other people who have to wake up early in the morning and go to an office to come back late at night to just end up sleeping. It sounds like a program or a routine, which we all have automatically been accustomed to.
This is not necessarily true with everybody, some people have mastered the art of not doing more things at a limited time but doing those things that matter within the allocated time.
But for those of us that are having a form of challenge here, i want to say that it is possible. Our lives doesn't have to be so streamlined and limited to our work life. How about other little things that add value? Take a second to think about this- How many times in the last 5 days have you made a conscious effort to give of yourself to someone else not with an underlying motive of getting something in return? Giving of yourself could be your time, money, affection - (your valuable resources). Or even taken time out to consider a bigger picture of how the world can be a better place for people around you and even the world at large?
One can be humanitarian in nature and yet be living a selfish life. You feel some form of sympathy for people that are less fortunate but rarely do anything to make them a little less fortunate. Think about it you have been living for yourself alone and even at that the vaccum in your life is widenning the more.
I can directly relate to this because i have been living thesame way too. Though i know i can do better, i have more than enough time to do those things that really matter, make decisions and take actions that have the potentials to live after me; but i've been engrossed in my almost valueless (in actual sense) daily routine. After a long thought which came about from a strong feeling of unease, i decided to consciously live beyond my daily life. I think about means and avenues where i can develop myself not solely for the purpose living more comfortably but largely for the benefit of mankind.
Bottomline is, we all that are caught up in our daily monotonous life can start to make a conscious effort to step out of that self imposed limitation and do those things we would love to do but ordinarily could not create time for.
Have a changed perspective, look at the big picture, don't limit your choices and decisions with you in mind alone. Think about how you want to be remembered after you have spent your time.
Live for a purpose that is beyond you.

Reference Image: International Consortium for Higher Education, Civic Responsibility and Democracy.

2006-10-10T19:32:00.000+01:00

Freedomuntitled as the name implies is a faceless blog. That means it is not dedicated to a single topic or a particular area of interest. Here, anything is possible if it is value based.